Hysteroscopy and Polpectomy Update

It’s done!! We got there at 8:30am and we were taken back relatively quickly. Everything went smoothly!

While I was still in recovery, the doctor went and talked to Chris and showed him pics from the scope. There were definitely polyps there. Prior to surgery they came in with a cartoon drawing of my uterus and showed where they thought 1-2 polyps were. Well, they got in there and there were 8-10 all clustered together! So they removed them all and everything is cleaned out and ready for baby#2!

Definitely in some pain. Trying to distract myself and take it easy! Just wanted to drop in and share how it went! All is well and I am home cuddling with little man! 

Maybe Baby 2.0??

I know I have been quiet for the past, oh, I don’t know…year or so! That’s what happens when you finally get your bouncing little miracle! They take all your time!! So worth it, but man, oh, man some days I don’t even get my morning cup of coffee!

So what is this post about? Baby#2! Well, our steps towards getting Baby#2 on board! 

Back in February we did another egg retrieval cycle when Caleb was only 5 months old and we were in the middle of renovating our main floor ourselves. Smart. I know. Anyways, we ended up with 2 snowbabies! We have been patiently waiting until Caleb turned a year old before going back to our RE and discussing transfer.

A few days after Caleb’s birthday we headed to our RE and brought Caleb. He was wearing his The Little Embryo That Could tee and everyone loved it. The receptionist took a picture and sent an email out to the whole staff! We decided to do the same protocol as before, the Letrozole prep for FET. (If you haven’t heard of this, please research it. I found it to be so much better on my body and everyone I have spoken with that has done this approach has had a successful pregnancy!)

I did need to have another Saline Infused Sonogram done to check out my uterus. Luckily this time was a lot less painful than last time! Since our RE is at a teaching hospital, there was the nurse, our RE, a Fellow and a medical student present for the procedure. At one point, they all got quiet and they heads were tilted to the side. They saw something in there that they aren’t sure what it is. Could be scar tissue from my C section, could be a polyp, could just be “junk” as they so eloquently put it. 

That brings us to today! This morning I am going to have a hysteroscopy and polpectomy. They are going to put me under full anesthesia, go in with a scope and remove what isn’t supposed to be in there. Basically make a nice, fresh home for Baby#2. 

With the amount of surgeries I have had in my life, being put to sleep is routine to me. Only this time it’s different. This time I have a son. This time I have a tiny person who will spend his life without his mama if for whatever reason I don’t wake up. I know this is my anxiety getting the best of me and everything with go smoothly and in no time I will be home, curled on the couch with a heating pad and a cup of tea, watching The Real Housewives with my little mama’s boy in my arms. 

Oh! Head over to the Beat Infertility podcast! That link is to our story which is being featured on the podcast TODAY Oct 23rd!! 

I will leave you with some super cute pics of our little man!

FET#1 Update – Transfer on hold for the Holidays

I know it’s been a week since I last posted and I kind of left everyone hanging. It has been a very hectic week and I am still getting over this sickness so every spare minute has been spent sleeping and trying to recuperate.

So as we know, last Tuesday (3rd) I went in for an ultrasound to see where Aunt Flo was and they found a 5 cm cysts on my right ovary. They brought me back in later that day for blood work because apparently I had ovulated. They didn’t call me the next day, but I did see my progesterone lab posted online. It was 9.2 ng which means that I definitely ovulated (which is still just insane to me). The nurse didn’t call until late Thursday afternoon. They confirmed that I ovulated and said that my beta was negative. She said that I should start my period soon but if I don’t start in 7 days to call back and they would put me back on Provera. Well, within a few hours of hanging up with the nurse, I start spotting. I spotted all weekend and Aunt Flo has officially arrived in full force as of today. I forgot how painful cramps can be. Especially when I haven’t had a period in 3 months.

I just talked to the nurse again this morning and I will put in my NuvaRing on Friday so we won’t be playing “chase Aunt Flo” again. But timing is really tricky and we had to spend some time figuring everything out on the calendar. We are aiming for a transfer the second full week of January which is the 11th – 16th. Since I am on a Letrozole prep that means that my CD19 needs to fall within that week. We also need to have a CD3 (could be scanned between CD2 – CD5, but CD3 is ideal) and CD12 ultrasound when the doctor’s office is open. They are closed on Sundays, Christmas Eve, Christmas, half day New Years Eve and closed New Years Day…are you starting to see my dilemma? It is more confusing than a normal FET because of using Letrozole instead of hormone replacement therapy. So basically, we have to time everything as close as we can, and pick a day for me to take my NuvaRing out. Here is what I came up with and emailed the nurse. I think our safest bet is to take out NuvaRing on Dec 21st:

If I take out the ring on Monday 21^st  here is when I would start my period:

• If I start on the 24^th –
  • Ultrasound on CD3 (Sat 26^th) or CD5 (Mon 28^th)
  • Letrozole CD3 (Sat 26th)  – CD 7 (Wed 30th)
  • Begin Estrace CD8 (Thurs 31st)
  • Ultrasound on CD12 (Mon 4^th)
  • Trigger with HCG on CD12 (Mon 4^th)
  • Ovulate on CD14 (Wed 6th)
  • Begin Crinone 1x daily CD14 (Wed 6th)
  • Transfer on CD19 (Mon 11th)
• If I start on the 25^th – Scans would fall on:
  • Ultrasound on CD2 (Sat 26^th) or CD4 (Mon 28^th)
  • Letrozole CD3 (Sun 27th)  – CD 7 (Thurs 31st)
  • Begin Estrace CD8 (Fri 1st)
  • Ultrasound on CD12 (Tues 5^th)
  • Trigger with HCG on CD12 (Tues 5^th)
  • Ovulate on CD14 (Thurs 7th)
  • Begin Crinone 1x daily CD14 (Thurs 7th)
  • Transfer on CD19 (Tues 12th)
• If I start on the 26^th –
  • Ultrasound on CD3 (Mon 28^th)
  • Letrozole CD3 (Mon 28th) – CD7 (Fri 1st)
  • Begin Estrace CD8 (Sat 2nd)
  • Ultrasound on CD12 (Wed 6^th)
  • Trigger with HCG on CD12 (Wed 6th)
  • Ovulate on CD14 (Fri 8th)
  • Begin Crinone 1x daily CD14 (Fri 8th)
  • Transfer on CD19 (Wed 13th) 
• If I start on the 27^th –
  • Ultrasound on CD3 (Tues 29^th)
  • Letrozole CD3 (Tues 29th) – CD7 (Sat 2nd)
  • Begin Estrace CD8 (Sun 3rd)
  • Ultrasound on CD12 (Thurs 7^th)
  • Trigger with HCG on CD12 (Thurs 7^th)
  • Ovulate on CD14 (Sat 9th)
  • Begin Crinone 1x daily CD14 (Sat 9th)
  • Transfer on CD19 (Thurs 14th)

This will give us some flexibility since it takes me between 4-6 days after taking NuvaRing out to start my period. Plus it gives flexibility if I am not ready to trigger on CD12 and need a few more days. If all of that confused you, you are not alone. It is no joke trying to plan something that is pretty much “unplannable” especially around the holidays and office closings. But that is where it stands at the moment. For now, I am going to enjoy my hot baths and my wine. I am going to enjoy the holiday season and Dec 21st will be here before I know it!

FET#1 Second Time’s the Charm? E2 and Ultrasound Results

Expect the Unexpected. This has to become my mantra. I have to learn to let things unfold as God intended them to. I need to become okay with not being able to be in control or plan for things. Shit happens…

For the past two weeks, I have been diligently putting five estrogen pills up my hooha twice a day in hopes of thickening my lining enough for transfer. I have endured horrendously swollen feet, serious mood swings and nausea that hasn’t let me eat for days. All waiting for this appointment when I could find out what date we will be reunited with our snowbabies. After 5 weeks on estrogen and a blood estrogen (E2) level of 2840(!!), I just got the call…we are scratching this cycle.

This morning’s ultrasound kind of prepared us for this. My lining had improved. It went from 3.34mm two weeks ago to an average of 6.14mm (thickest at 7.42mm). Ideally my lining needs to be between 8mm-12mm for optimum implantation. I was hoping they would call and say that I just needed one more week on the estrogen…alas that did not happen.

One of Dr. Bohler’s new fellows who scanned me this morning called to break the news. I think the nurse is tired of giving me bad news so she is now pawning that duty off on to other staff members. Dr. G said that Dr. B is not happy with the way my lining looks and that our best bet is to scratch this cycle and start over. Instead of doing the exact same thing, we are taking a new approach. Actually, this approach is so new to the clinic that they have only done it on one other lady before me and that was as a trial because she would be out of town on the day of transfer. In her case, the protocol worked beautifully. So…what are we going to do? It is actually a more natural cycle which is nice. Here is the breakdown:

• Today: Stop taking Estrogen and begin Provera to bring on Aunt Flo
• Take Provera for 10 days (or until AF is strong)
• CD3 come into clinic for baseline blood work and ultrasound. At this appointment they will give me the prescription for Letrozole.
• CD3- CD7 take Letrozole to produce a follicle. This medication is an oral pill similar to Clomid that is used to induce ovulation for IUIs.
• CD8 begin taking one estrogen pill by mouth a day
• CD12 come into clinic for blood work and ultrasound to make sure I have a follicle growing
• CD12 if everything looks good I will be given an HCG shot to induce ovulation
• After ovulation, will use 1 Crinone applicator a day for progesterone support
• 5 – 6 days after ovulation we will go in for transfer

Okay, so I know its a bit confusing. It is an IUI/FET hybrid, however there are some major pros to this protocol

1. My lining reacted VERY well to the Gonal F during the fresh cycles so my likelihood of it reacting well to Letrozole is very high
2. It is a more natural cycle using more of my body’s naturally produced hormones rather than pumping it full of synthetic hormones
3. I won’t have to do PIO shots!!!!

Am I sad that our transfer will be postponed? Of course I am. I want to be reunited with our snowbabies as soon as possible. But I don’t want to put them into an environment where they don’t have a good chance of sticking and becoming our children. I will wait just a little longer if it means that improves our chances of getting to meet them and see their little faces one day. I am glad that the estrogen is over with and I can get back to somewhat of a semblance of normal life. I also believe that using my natural hormones will help. So the call to cancel this cycle was bittersweet, but I believe it is for the best. I am more positive about this new protocol. If you have had any experience with this type of protocol, whether IUI or FET, please let me know!

FET#1 Days 22 – 29

The past week has been exhausting. Last Thursday, the first full day after upping my Estrace from 6mg to 10mg a day, I had a really bad headache. I do get migraines and I have had them since I was 11. This wasn’t one. And my migraine medicine wouldn’t touch it. I almost wish it had been a migraine because I know how to treat those. This was the mother of all headaches and it moved around. It was banded across my forehead, then moved to the back of my neck, then to my temples. Nothing I did gave me any relief. I did go to acupuncture to help thicken my lining and being in a dark, cold room for a bit did help. That afternoon I kept getting immense hot flashes. When I got home from work, I immediately went to lay down and I ended up sleeping from 4pm – 7pm when Chris woke me up to eat dinner. I then fell back asleep from 8pm-6am. I guess my body needed the rest. Since then I haven’t had a headache so I am hoping that that was just my body adjusting to the increased dosage.

We had a nice relaxing weekend. We did some cleaning and finally got all of our laundry taken care of. It’s amazing how much of a relief that is when everything is fresh, clean, folded and put away. I worked on my painting for most of the day on Saturday and then Sunday morning we went to a local popular farm and picked pumpkins. We got a mommy pumpkin, a daddy pumpkin and two baby pumpkins for our snowbabies that we will soon be reunited with. We also bought some apples and honey. Their honey is so amazing. It was a nice morning for a drive too as the farm is about an hour away.

  
Monday my feet began swelling. When Chris came home he surprised me with compression socks…and I cried. I just kept repeating “That was so thoughtful.” And I bawled…yay estrogen! Tuesday my feet swelled up faster and were quite large and painful by 8am so I emailed the nurse. The doctor wanted me to come in so they could evaluate the swelling. Since it is in both feet and mainly localized to my ankles and feet, I am at low risk for DVT thank goodness. I know what the symptoms are and am to call immediately if I get any of them. They didn’t want to reduce the estrogen and basically just said to keep them elevated and drink lots of water. I am already drinking about a gallon of water a day so I am not sure how much more I can drink. I already eat a low sodium diet and don’t add salt to anything. I asked if they could go ahead and scan me while I am there to see if there is any progress on my lining, but they said that I might as well wait until next Tuesday. Dr. Bohler is a strange dude. He has an interesting personality. He did say that if my lining isn’t thick enough on Tuesday he does have an idea in the back of his head. When I asked him about it he was being coy and said it was going to stay there for now. I said “Why? Is it something I am not going to like?” and he just responded that it might delay the FET even more. Well, we are going to hope it doesn’t come to that, although a delay is better then a cancellation so I will take what I can get.

  
 I got to work from home a few days this week in order to keep my feet propped up and today is the first day back in the office. They swelled up so fast! I am wearing compression socks and I took my shoes off when I got here. Just simple flats. Within an hour my feet would no longer fit into my shoes. Hopefully this isn’t indicative of how pregnancy will agree with me because if so then I won’t be able to walk after a few months! Overall my emotions have been a bit better. I haven’t been crying as much so that is a plus. I have sensed that a coworker has been pregnant for some time now and when I asked other coworkers if she was everyone said no. She then came out and said she is expecting baby number 2 in March. I guess I have a spidey sense. Maybe it’s all these hormones that are making me super in tune to other people. I am happy for her, but at the same time I had a “Why not me?” moment. Then to rub salt in the wound an old coworker just saw me with my feet propped up and told me “Congratulations!” When I asked what for, he responded “You’re pregnant.” Cue dumbfounded look. I simply replied “Nope, not yet. Going through IVF that’s why my feet are swollen.” I’m sure he immediately put his foot in his mouth, but it made me feel bad. I am a very open person and will let you know about every aspect of this journey. More than you might want to know. Please don’t assume I am pregnant. Believe me, once I am pregnant everyone will know…new and old coworkers alike.

   
 So that has been my week in a nutshell. I have had some ups and downs, but I have been doing better mentally and emotionally. I am taking everything in stride. Right now I am more positive and optimistic than I have been recently. I am looking forward to our appointment on Tuesday and I pray that my lining is where it needs to be and we don’t have to find out what is in the back of Dr. Bohler’s head! We had Chinese the other day and this was my fortune 🙂
  

FET#1 E2 and Ultrasound

Wednesday the 23rd we had our appointment to check my blood levels and my uterine lining in the hopes of starting progesterone (PIO and Crinone) in the next few days for a transfer the week of October 5th. Well…just like everything else in this entire process, nothing goes according to plan. Expect the Unexpected.

I have never had an issue with my uterine lining. At all my baselines my lining was at least 5mm and over the course of the monitoring appointments during the fresh IVFs it became tri-laminar and around 12mm. We had no reason to doubt that this appointment would be anything but positive. And man, oh, man was I anticipating this appointment because it meant we could move on to the next step and get our snowbabies back where they belong. I barely slept the night before because I was so excited to learn when the next steps would happen and get a date for transfer. The past three weeks have felt so long and I have been having nothing but side effects from this estrogen. From everything I read, some of the estrogen side effects will subside once progesterone is started so I was actually getting excited to start PIO injections…something I never thought I would feel and also I am sure I will regret saying once we start them.

Anyways, we arrived at the doctor’s office bright and early as always and there was only one other person in the waiting room. I could tell she was excited and she started talking to us and asked how long we had been coming to the office. We told her we had been there since April and had gone through two IVF and this was our first FET. She said she had been coming since August and that she got a positive beta on her first IUI and was so excited. She went on and on about how she was called with the positive test and what the nurse said and yada yada. Me being emotionally unstable on all this estrogen, simply just looked at her and smiled. I didn’t trust anything that was going to come out of my mouth. I felt cynical. If you all don’t remember my current feelings about pregnant people see here. Luckily, the lab tech called us back for blood work right then. I am getting better at the blood work. I didn’t feel like I was going to pass out this time and it wasn’t too bad. Maybe IVF will really break me of my fear of needles. One can only hope.

After bloodwork we went back to the waiting room and Excited Newly Pregnant Lady was still there. She seem to now be engaged in doing something on her phone and didn’t want to rub her glee in anymore. Within a few minutes the ultrasound tech came to get us. It wasn’t the one that we liked and we don’t necessarily have a lot of confidence in her. We got to her ultrasound room and I assumed the position. I told her that from everything I know that my lining should be at least 8mm and that we shouldn’t have any problems since my lining is always nice and thick. She started the scan and of course my uterus didn’t want to play nice. It was being difficult to scan so she went to scan my ovaries first. The bruises on my left ovary were completely gone (yay) and everything looked good. My right ovary was nestled next to my uterus as usual and that one look good too. I think she counted 22 follicles on my left and 25 follicles on my right. Then she went to scan my lining. She took several measurements of my lining ranging from 2.5mm to 3.75mm. Cue disappointment. I said “Are you sure? Because my lining has always been at least 5mm” and she decided that since my uterus was difficult to scan that she would try and find a physician to come and look. When they were all busy she went to look for another ultrasound tech. Of course no one was available but she did track down a doctor who told her to take additional images on several different settings. She came back and did as she was instructed but she didn’t measure the lining again. By this time I was in tears thinking that there was something wrong with me and that our FET would be cancelled. Luckily I work at home on Wednesdays so I was able to come home and work and not have to worry about hiding my tears.

I waited all day for the nurse to call. I looked on Dr. Google (bad idea) to see what it means to take this much estrogen and have such a thin lining. I tried to find other that had had this situation and had success. I didn’t find anything. I drove myself crazy for hours. Normally the nurse calls around 1 or 2. Well, 3 o’clock came and I hadn’t heard a peep. I decided to call the nurse. I left her a voicemail and lied saying I was going into a meeting at 3:30 and was hoping to speak with her before then. I guess she was sitting by her phone and screening her calls because she called me back 2 minutes later. She said she was waiting to talk to Dr. Bohler but she knew what he was going to say. She said my blood estrogen level was good at 1004 which means my body is absorbing the estrogen it just isn’t getting to my uterus where it needs to be. She told me to add 2 estrogen pills in the morning and 2 at night. Meaning that my dose increased from 6mg of estrogen daily to 10mg…bring on the crazy! She booked me in for an appointment on October 6th to recheck everything and talked to Dr. Christensen, the embryologist, to see if it was okay to transfer the week after since they normally transfer the first full week of the month. Everything was okayed to move our transfer date back a week. I made sure to ask if there was anything medically wrong with me that might make my lining not responsive to the estrogen. She assured me that I am not alone and there are many women that this happens to and I just need a little bit more time. Sigh. The nurse then called back about an hour later and said she spoke with Dr. Bohler and I was to take all 5 pills twice a day…vaginally. Her exact words were to “cram them in there”…no joke…

Needless to say, the appointment did not go as planned. Yet another curveball thrown into our path. I have said it before and I will say it again: I need to learn that this is the way this world is. I cannot plan for things because everything changes on a dime. I need to learn to roll with the punches. And while I am getting better at relinquishing control and just letting things happen as they will, I am not fully there yet and may never be. I am trying to let go and let God. I trust in Him and His plan for us and our family. I remind myself of the Serenity prayer which I have tattooed on my wrists to remind me everyday to trust in Him.

FET#1 Days 9 – 14 – More Meds

So it has been about a week since I last posted. Honestly there hasn’t really been that much to tell, except my ranting and ravings as a lunatic on estrogen. I started taking the estrogen vaginally instead of orally and am happy to report that I no longer have nausea and can eat regular meals without them coming back up! I also am not as crazy as I was the first week. Still crazy…just not as crazy. Example: Last Thursday I was sitting at my desk at work and for whatever reason, I thought of the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials with the sad kittens and puppies and I started crying. My boss looked at me, like what happened? And I had to explain that nothing happened, that commercial just popped into my head and made me cry.

  
I called the fertility pharmacy to order the Progesterone in Oil and Crinone. I had been putting it off because I know the cost was going to ruin my mood…you ladies know what I am talking about. For those that haven’t had to be on Crinone, it is expensive…and I will be on it twice a day until the 11th week of pregnancy which should be around Christmas. Each dose is around $20 so do the math on that and it’s $3,600. Ouch! That is how much ALL the meds for the stimming cycle cost! Well, it was a long shot but I talked to my insurance company to see if they would cover it since technically it’s not a fertility medication, it is a hormonal supplement. Well, they said it would require a prior authorization and we went through that process. I wasn’t expecting them to cover much if anything. The pharmacy called me the next morning and said that my insurance is covering 4 boxes of 15 applicators for 30 days! That is $1,200 worth of medication at zero cost to us! Cue happy dance! Also, my doctor ordered me Progesterone in Cottonseed Oil this time around because I had a bit of a reaction to the sesame seed oil last time. This is also supposed to be thinner so maybe, just maybe it won’t hurt as bad! I am not looking forward to the PIO shots again. I was thinking back to how miserable and sore my booty was after just 14 days of them last time and this time around I get the pleasure of having them for 90 days. I will get through it, just like I have gotten through everything else. I am just not all excited about that part.

  
In other news, we had a lazy Saturday and it was amazing. It seemed that we both rotated off taking naps because we were so tired. It was nice to have a peaceful and quiet house while Chris was sleeping. I got some painting done and was able to decompress a little and relax. Then on Sunday it was so beautiful outside that we did a lot of landscaping work. Chris handled the yard and I got to play with our new toy – a hedge trimmer! Those things are amazing (I never thought I would say that about a landscaping tool). I am very OCD and like things very, very even and just right and this tool helped me do it perfectly and quickly! Now the front of our house looks nice and pretty! We also cut back all the dying rose bushes on the side of our house and weeded the area. We have definitely been feeling sore from all the work we did but it looks great! Now…the inside of the house, not so much. We have to get that in order before transfer or I will drive myself crazy looking at it and not being able to clean it.

  
Last, but not least, we had a family trip to the doctor yesterday to get our flu shots. We were told by our IVF nurse to get them at least 2 weeks prior to transfer so it has enough time to build up protection in our systems. Normally I freak out at flu shots and refuse to look at the needle. This time I saw the needle and was like “What? That’s tiny!” and I hardly felt the shot at all. Maybe this whole IVF (specifically PIO) thing is curing me of my fear of needles! Or maybe at this point I am just too tired to care much anymore! Either way it is making doctor’s visits a little less stressful for me so I will take it.

  
As for how I am feeling? I am taking it day by day, hour by hour. The estrogen is really playing with my emotions and my ability to remain positive. I am excited about the transfer, but I don’t feel I am excited as I was last time. I attribute that to the hormones making me feel down and anxious. I am hoping as the date gets closer that I will become more excited. I just don’t really know what to say right now. I don’t want to sound like a downer because I am not. I am more just tired right now. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. I feel like very little thing requires so much more effort and all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep until its time to transfer.

   
 

FET#1 Day 7 – So.Much.Estrogen.

  
This past week has been rough. In many ways, I would rather be doing the stim injections than be on this estrogen. They didn’t make me feel as bad or as crazy. I know that I need to take it, but I dread when 6PM or 6AM rolls around and it’s time for my next dose. Each dose is making me feel worse and I was hoping that my body would get used to it, or that I would get used to the side effects. We are 7 days in and so far, neither of those are in sight.

  
The physical side effects I can handle. I can handle the persistent headache, never-ending nausea, lack of appetite, diarrhea, flu-like symptoms and night sweats. It’s no walk in the park, but those are manageable. I am able to take Tylenol and Peptobismol. I eat small, tolerable meals and rest as much as possible. I drink plenty of fluids and Chris has been picking up my slack around the house so I can rest, relax and not strain myself too much.

The emotional side effects are what are making this so much worse for me. I have been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. It has come in waves over the years and most of the time I have been able to keep it under control or at bay with medications, yoga and/or therapy. Last year was very difficult for both my husband and I (you can read about that here) and we have been able to persevere by relying on each other and getting a little help from Zoloft. I went on it last October because my anxiety got so bad that I didn’t want to leave the house. I wouldn’t answer the phone because I was afraid it was going to be more bad news. For about a month straight last year, every time I answered the phone it was bad test results, a cancer diagnosis, a death…one thing after another. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was always looking over my shoulder just waiting for the next shoe to drop. I couldn’t sleep. The Zoloft was able to help me get perspective on everything and when I discussed with the RE whether or not to stay on it during IVF and pregnancy, we both found the benefits outweighed the risks as the stress the anxiety causes me could negatively affect the pregnancy. That is how bad it was.

  
Each passing day on this estrogen I get worse. My anxiety is coming back and I feel like I am losing perspective on the whole situation again. It’s getting harder for me to joke around. I am not smiling and am not my normal positive self. Which is making dealing with everything with IVF that much harder. If you can’t remain positive and focused on the end game, then each injection and each procedure is that much worse.

  
On a happier note, my parents safely returned from their trip to Europe and they brought back some nice gifts. I collect the Hard Rock Cafe bears and my life’s goal is to have one from every Hard Rock Cafe. So far I have a ton from the states but only London, Edinburgh and Paris from overseas. Well, now I can add Prague and Budapest to that collection! They brought back some shot glasses for Chris and a small bottle of absinthe. The real absinthe with wormwood that’s not sold over in the U.S. I tried it last time I was in England and never again. It was awful. Chris didn’t believe me. He excitedly took a nice, big swig last night and is still paying for it over 12 hours later! He said it was the worst idea he has had in a long time! My parents also brought back some gifts for the babies. They brought a Baby’s First Mozart CD, baby bibs from Hard Rock Cafe in Prague and two little Stieff bears. They are super soft and cuddly! It was so sweet of them to bring gifts for the babies. Hopefully we will be able to give them to them next summer!

Things I have cried at today:

• Bachelor in Paradise – because I really thought Carly and Kirk would make it. Kirk is a jerk…
• House, MD – because the dad had to chose to save mom or baby. He chose baby. 
• I then asked Chris what he would do in the same situation and it turned into me sobbing into his shirt begging him not to kill me
• Cute old people kissing on a commercial
• Because the cat stole my paint brush

If I wasn’t going to sleep right now I bet there would be more! Any advice on dealing with all of the above and making it through this alive bad in one (hopefully sane) is much appreciated!

IVF#2 Antral Follicle Count and Baseline E2

We are fast approaching the start of IVF 2.0! Today we had our baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. As I have said many times, I am highly needlephobic. So when there was a different phlebotomist there I had a moment of freak out. I was used to the other lady. She knew that I would get anxious and nervous and she made the stick as painless as possible. Well, I didn’t need to freak out this time. This lady was just as nice and did a good job as well.

Our normal ultrasound tech came and got us and said that there was a new REI fellow and a new sonographer with her today and asked if I minded if they were in the room. I said that was fine. I have never been one to decline additional professionals in the rooms. Everybody has to learn some how and I am not all that private of a person. When it came to doing the actual ultrasound, the new REI fellow asked if she could do it so she could learn the clinics ultrasound computer system. I didn’t mind at all. The ultrasound took a bit longer than normal as she had to learn the right buttons to take the pictures and measurements but it was kind of cool to listen to her being instructed because we got to see and understand more about what we were looking at. Normally the ultrasounds are done so fast you don’t get a good chance to figure out what you are looking at.

After the appointment was over I headed to work for a bit, but ended up leaving after about 30 minutes. I have had a persistent migraine since yesterday morning and the fluorescent lights at the office were not helping the situation. I worked from home the rest of the day trying to get the migraine under control. I have it to a manageble level thanks to my migraine medications. Fingers crossed it will go away while I sleep tonight!

The nurse called this afternoon and let me know that my estrogen was 23. There were no cysts. I have 17 follicles on the left and 11 follicles on the right meaning I have 28 antral follicles. She also told me to go ahead and stop my birth control. We are all set to start stimming on Friday!! She also called in the antibiotics and pain meds to the pharmacy so we went to pick them up tonight. Our IVF medication collection is complete. Expect a video soon!

Immediately upon hearing my baseline numbers I started to compare them to last cycles numbers (read last cycles baseline here). This is something that I do NOT need to be doing. I started stressing myself out because last time my numbers were higher. I keep reminding myself that this is a fresh start. We have wiped the slate clean and are starting a new with a different protocol. I am focusing on looking forward instead of backwards.

Tomorrow I go in for another acupuncture session. I have begun to really look forward to these. We worked on my anxiety last week and it definitely helped. I am looking forward to relaxing a bit tomorrow during the session. Never thought I would say having needles voluntarily sticking out of me would be relaxing…but it is!!

IVF Cycle 2 Here We Come!

We finally had the long awaited appointment with our RE to discuss what happened and the next cycle. It was very informative and went very well. I feel silly that I was so anxious about this appointment!

Dr. E answered all of questions. Here is a recap:

• Only 2 eggs were retrieved. There were not not eggs retrieved that were immature, there were only 2. Period. We had 100% fertilization rate and it’s almost unheard of for all 100% fertilized to make it to transfer. This bodes well for future embryos.
• My estrogen level being so low one week after transfer was indeed abnormally low. Whether the low level caused a chemical pregnancy or the estrogen reflected no implantation, that is unknown. We don’t have to worry about this in the future. More on that in a minute.
• The most probable reason why our cycle failed is that I didn’t progress on the medications the way we had hoped and they only obtained two eggs and transferred on Day 2. Ideally we want them to make it to Day 5.
• I likely did NOT have a reaction to the Progesterone in Oil and it was most likely contact dermatitis from something I had come in contact with. We will use the PIO again and should know very quickly if I am allergic or not.

Now, what’s next? We are heading right into our second IVF cycle! We will start stimming on July 24th. I will remain on NuvaRing until our baseline bloodwork and ultrasound on July 20th just in case there are any residual cysts. The nurse is superstitious and didn’t want me to take out the NuvaRing before and tempt fate. Starting on July 24th I will be on Gonal-F 225iu a night for 5 nights and then go in for my first monitoring appointment on July 29th. That night I will start Menopur and possibly Cetrotide (yay for THREE injections!!). From there, we all know how the story goes, it’s really just going to depend on how I progress. When it comes time to trigger I will be doing a Lupron trigger with low dose HCG. We will do the retrieval and hopefully get more than two eggs! We will be freezing the embryos on Day 5. We will then wait for Aunt Flo to arrive and afterwards start three weeks of estrogen. My lining will be checked to make sure it is at least 8-9mm, then we will start PIO for 5 days before transfer. We will have the embryo transfer and then voila! we will be in the 2WW again!

Okay, so that is a lot of information. Why did we decide to do a freeze all cycle? We discussed it with the doctors and we all agreed that we would rather be more aggressive with the medications to get more eggs and risk getting a mild case of OHSS. It also allows the doctors to increase the meds as needed to get more eggs without having to weigh the risks of not being able to do a fresh transfer. It also allows my body time to recover of the stim cycle. In addition, my parents are going out of the country for a month at the beginning of August and my brother is coming up from Florida to house sit for them. I want to be able to spend time with him. I also want to transfer at a time when I will be the least stressed and have my support system in place.

I think I have summarized all the information from the past few hours! We will be getting our medications in the next few days. I will post an IVF Med Haul 2.0 video and explain our treatment protocol in more detail.