Category Archives: Thoughts

Christmas Photo Shoot

I will admit it. I am a Pinterest addict. Guilty as charged. When we started trying for a baby, I pinned all kinds of cute things to do with the little one. Little artwork with tiny hand and foot prints, cute costumes to put them in and posed picture ideas for every occasion imaginable, just to name a few. Today I decided to do an impromptu Christmas photo shoot with little man with some of the ideas from Pinterest. Normally, I fail miserably at recreating perfection from Pinterest, but I get an A for effort! This time though, I might just call this a Pinterest win! What do you think?


Caleb Update – Eleven Weeks Old

It’s been a while since I have updated! I want to get back into writing more but my little man has been keeping me busy and on my toes. It seems he learns something new every day. It is so much fun to see him discover the world. The other day he saw rain for the first time and just stared at the rain on the window from his car seat as we drove home. Then the following day he felt rain on his face for the first time. The look of confusion and amazement on his face was so sweet. He loves watching the ceiling fan and the way the light plays on the walls. He loves staring at the fire in the fire place and any shadows.

He is a genuinely happy baby. We are so thankful and blessed! Every day he smiles and tries to laugh. At the moment his laughs kind of sound like cries and whines so if you aren’t looking at his face you can’t tell if he is happy or mad. He loves watching baby animal videos on YouTube. He smiles and giggles at them. He has also taken to watching the TV. At first we thought he was just staring in that general direction, but it has become quite obvious that he is actually watching the TV. He has a bouncer that has some toys hanging from it. If we put his hand in the loops on them then he will hang onto it and pull on the toys. He is also starting to discover his hands. He hasn’t been staring at them in wonder yet but he does clasp them together and intertwine his fingers. He makes repetitive motions with his wrists and he loves sucking on his hands. For the past few weeks if I have him on his tummy on my chest while I am reclined in a chair he will roll over and gravity will help him land in my arms. We have been trying to get him to roll over during tummy time but he hates it and just gets frustrated. Last night as soon as Chris put him on his tummy he rolled over for the first time! Of course I missed it and looked up just as he was on his back! We tried to get him to do it again but he wouldn’t. He just got frustrated and whined. He has been vocalizing more and experimenting with different sounds. Sometimes it sounds like he is trying to mimic the sounds that we make.


His favorite songs are Wheels on the Bus, O Come All Ye Faithful and My Favorite Things. He loves Peek a Boo and baths and being on the changing table (he just laughs and laughs). At the moment the only thing he hates is Tummy Time. He has slept through the night on two separate occasions. We give him his bath around 7pm and then he cuddles with me and I give him his last bottle around 8:30pm. We put him down in his rock n play in our room around 9pm. He has two different sleeping patterns. The first is he will sleep from 9pm – 3am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am which is when we wake up to take him to my parent’s house. The second pattern is he will sleep from 9pm – 12am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am. Either way he is only waking once in the night to feed. At not even three months old I will take that for a win!

Yesterday we put him in his pumpkin suit for what will probably be the last time as he is getting too big for it. I wanted to capture a picture of him wearing it and compare it to when we put him in it when he was two weeks old. The difference is huge! He is getting so big! He has a long torso like his momma so some of his 3 month clothes are getting a bit tight. He has graduated to some 3-6 months and 6 month clothes! He is also starting to outgrow his size 1 diapers! Looking at the comparison of him nine weeks ago, he looks so tiny!

Speaking of size, he is in the 25th percentile for height and weight. At his 2 month appointment (9 weeks 5 days) he weighed 11lbs 14oz and was 22.75” long. He went from the 44th percentile at 3 weeks to 25th percentile at 9 weeks. I was concerned, but the doctor doesn’t seem to be.  Since we have been dealing with reflux, he has had a few days where he hasn’t eaten much and that can cause the decrease in percentiles. He was not a fan of his 2 months shots. He had several vaccines that were combined into one oral vaccine and three shots. He took the oral vaccine like a champ. The first shot he just kind of looked at us in shock, then second shot he started to scream, then the nurse quickly did the third and then ran out of the room. It took us a few minutes to calm him down. I think it was much worse on me than it was on him. He was lethargic and lost his appetite for a few days afterwards and it has taken us almost two weeks to get him back up to where he was feeding wise. He is now taking about 26oz a day in 5oz bottles every 3-4 hours. We upped his Zantac to 1.4ml twice a day and he seems to feel better. He isn’t arching his back, shaking his head and thrashing as much anymore.

The week of Thanksgiving I went back to work and because of the reflux issues the week prior my milk supply tanked. I was never able to get more than 10-12oz a day and then the reflux issues, stress and going back to work caused my supply to dwindle each day. It got to be too much for me to hook myself to a pump for half an hour to only get 1oz. I was at my wits end. It was causing me anxiety and stress and taking me away from spending time with my son. I made the decision to just stop. Since we were only pumping and not nursing it was a lot easier to just quit. My milk supply was so low that I was able to stop cold turkey. We returned the hospital grade Medela Symphony we had rented and that was the end of that. I felt a lot of guilt with quitting but I also felt immense relief. It was one less thing I had to stress about and it was one thing that I could control. Having control over that and choosing to quit made me feel like I had some control back in my chaotic little life. I needed that.

I have found it harder and harder to be away from my little guy. I thought that each day and each week it would get a bit easier but it’s not. My mother watches him during the week which is more of a blessing than she realizes. It is so comforting to know that he is well taken care of and is being given the attention that he needs. Plus she sends me pictures and videos throughout the day which helps me and comforts me!


Last Saturday we took him to meet Santa! I was so glad that he didn’t cry or scream. Honestly he had no idea what was going on. He is very good about letting strangers hold him. I attribute that to letting him be around people and the public since he was 3 days old. Everyone loved his little reindeer suit and he got a lot of compliments!

We took some pictures on Thanksgiving with both sides of our family! It was so wonderful to get everyone together and Caleb was finally able to meet his Uncle Rob! On Black Friday we went to a popular local farm and cut down our Christmas tree! This was a tradition we started two years ago when we bought our house. It was so special to be able to take Caleb to cut down his first Christmas tree!

I think that’s all the updates for now! I promise I will try and update more often! We wish everyone a happy, safe and blessed holiday season!

Caleb’s Birth Story

As my little miracle is asleep on my chest, I thought I would take some time and finally write out his birth story. 

We had a C-section scheduled for 7:30am on September 25th. We decided the best and safest way for Caleb to enter the world via C-section due to the fact I had the worst polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid) they had seen in decades. I had over four times the normal amount. This caused Caleb not to engage therefore if my water broke there was a chance of his cord prolapsing and causing an emergency situation. In addition he was consistently positioned face up facing my left hip which would make a vaginal delivery difficult. 

My OB knows I have severe anxiety and she knew how much pain I was in with the extra fluid and since she was on call that weekend she said as long as we arrived after midnight on September 25th we could go ahead and do the C-section since I would be 39 weeks. On Saturday September 24th, my best friend and Caleb’s godmother drove 6 hours to come be with us for his birth and house sit our pets while we were in the hospital. 

Everyone anticipated that I would want to be at the hospital at exactly midnight. And that was the original plan. I got everything ready and decided I was going to lay down for a bit to try and get some sleep. For the first time in months I slept for a three hour stretch! Both Chris and Katie stayed awake and couldn’t get a wink of sleep. When I woke up, I told them it was go time and we packed up to head to the hospital. 

We arrived at the hospital around 2:30am. The nurse said that my OB had called about 8pm the night before to let them know her C-section might come in early. She knows me so well! I was taken back and hooked up to the monitors. They checked my cervix and I hadn’t progressed, still 1cm and no effacement. As soon as I was checked I started having contractions. Up to this point I had been having “uterine irritations” due to the polyhydramnios. They basically feel like contractions but don’t show on the monitor that way. This time they were showing. 

After a short while, a nurse came in and introduced herself and said we would be having the C-section at 5am. She started looking at my arms to start my IV. I told her I only had one good vein and it was in the crook of my arm. But they don’t like using that area. After several minutes of examining both arms she decided to use the one good vein. Around this time I started shaking uncontrollably. My arms, my body, everything was shaking pretty badly. My teeth were chattering too. I asked what was happening and was told it was the adrenaline from nervousness and knowing what was about to happen. 

As I was being given my pre-meds, which were anti-nausea meds and fluids, another nurse came in and said that my C-section would be delayed as there is one anesthesiologist on the floor and 4 women decided they wanted epidurals at the same time! Damn them! The nurse held off giving my the antibiotic as that has to be given within an hour of the C-section. So Chris, Katie and I continued to wait. We asked if Chris could do skin to skin as soon as he was born. They agreed. So when Chris dressed in his ghostbusters outfit he took his shirt off underneath so he could put Caleb against his chest. He accidentally put the nurses hat on which caused a laugh!

About 10 mins later, the nurse comes in and says okay, the women decided against epidurals, it’s go time! She pushed the antibiotics and we got up and started heading down the hall. About halfway to the OR, the phone rings and another nurse tells us to stop. One of the women changed her mind again! Come on lady!! So back to the room we went. By now my nerves are in full effect and the shaking is getting out of control. They can’t give me anything because it would make Caleb drowsy when he was born. 

Maybe another 10 minutes go by and the nurse comes back and says it’s for real this time and she wants to get me back there before anyone else changes their mind! I get to the OR room and get up on the table. I was most scared about the spinal block. I do not do well with needles. The anesthesiologist was a very nice and attentive Asian man. He talked me through the whole thing. It took a while to get me numb enough. I kept jumping everytime he added more numbing and then I would freak out and say I’m sorry!! Apparently my spine was tight so it took a little longer to get the needle positioned and the medicine in. One it was I immediately felt a warm sensation move through my body and down my legs. The nurses helped me lay down and I started feeling nauseous. My OB had to hold a bowl beside my head because I vomited a few times. 

Once all that was over, they brought Chris in. He sat by my head and held my hand. He had his phone out to take pictures. (I didn’t realize that he actually recorded some of it on video!) I felt so good after the spinal took full effect. I was so sleepy, I really honestly almost fell asleep. It was the first time in months that I was comfortable and not in any pain. I had to ask if they had started because I wasn’t aware of what they were doing. By the time I asked, they were already in! When they broke my water I could breath! I even kept repeating that over and over again which had everyone laughing. I found out later that they had to change out the suction canister because there was so much to water! One scrub nurse has been an L&D nurse for 26 years and has never had to change out the canister. Chris said it was like a fountain!

After I could breathe again, I was even sleepier because I felt so good!! The anesthesiologist continued to talk me through everything and told me they were about to push on my belly and get Caleb out. Less than a minute later I heard him crying. My OB said he was spunky!! He was taken to get checked out and weighed. Chris went over there with him. When I got to see him for the first time he was wrapped up under Chris’s ghostbusters outfit. 

Caleb Robert was born at 6:11am weighing 8lbs 2.7oz and 19.5 inches long. His first APGAR score was 8 and his second one was 9. 

It took less time for them to stitch me up than I thought it would. Soon enough they transferred me to a gurney and put Caleb in my arms for the first time. The spinal numbed my ring fingers and pinky fingers too so I was worried about him falling off. They wheeled us to recovery where I was able to get ample doses of morphine. I was told repeatedly to stay on top of the pain. 

I am not sure what time we were taken to our room (322). Katie was there waiting for us. The rest of that morning is a bit of a blur due to the morphine and exhaustion. Actually looking back, most of the hospital stay is a blur. Our parents came around lunch time to meet him. Everyone immediately fell in love. 

We had some issues breastfeeding from the start. He had a tongue tie and I have flat nipples so it made for a difficult time learning to breastfeed. He lost quite a bit of weight his first day, down to 7lb 7oz. Because of that we started supplementing. He had his tongue tie corrected and his circumsion on Tues the 27th. Because I felt so good, we decided to leave the hospital a day early. Recovery from my C-section was 10 times less painful then having all that extra fluid for the past few months. 

The past 7 weeks have flown by so fast! I can’t believe how big he is getting! I am so in love!

Our Miracle is Here!

Caleb Robert was born at 6:11am on Sunday September 25th, 2016 via Caesarean section. He weighed 8lbs 2.7oz and 19.5 inches long. He is perfect in every way. God couldn’t have blessed us with a sweeter child. I am planning on doing a post on his birth story and first week of life when I get a chance, but I wanted to update everyone on his arrival! Here are some pictures!

Update on Zoey

As I mentioned in the previous post, Zoey is doing fantastic! It has been a little over two weeks post amputation and you would never know that she had ever loved her life with four legs. It truly is amazing how adaptable dogs are. She is very active and runs around. Several times we have even found her upstairs by our bedroom door so she is clearly managing stairs with no assistance! 

On Friday, she had her staples removed and she was a champ! We also found out that the tumor was benign!!! It is extremely rare for a bone tumor in a dog to be benign. There is a possibility that it was caught too early to show malignancy and there is a very slight chance there could be micro mets throughout her body. However, all the vets are very optimistic and were celebrating! She is going to live a long health life as a tripawd! Even though the tumor was benign, even if we found our prior to amputation we still would have ended up needing to amputate for quality of life. This was the best possible outcome and we are blessed beyond belief that Zoey will be around for years to come!


Hello from the Hospital

Yes, I sang Adele out loud while typing the title

I started writing this post after I was admitted to the hospital on 3/11 however the pain meds quickly zonked me out. Those things are no joke. I am now home snuggled up under my Minion blanket with one of my kitties. I will try and make this as coherent as possible however I am still on pain medication. 

Friday 6 am – I was fast asleep dreaming of taking a family vacation when I was in high school. In my dream I began having severe back pains and no matter how I tried to get comfortable in the van the pain kept getting worse. I woke up and the pain was real. Immediately I knew what was happening. I have had kidney stones before and the pain is unmistakeable. I went to the bathroom and called to Chris. The pain increased in intensity quickly, I got clammy and became overcome with nausea. In the past, I have waited out the stones but I was concerned about stress on the baby so we decided to go to the ER. Chris have Zoey (our dog) her medicine, took her out and then we were in the car. While driving, we of course got stuck in traffic. The pain became overwhelmingly intense again and I became vomiting pure bile, which in turn exacerbated the pain. I ended up wetting myself due to the intensity of heaving. 

Friday 7 am – arrived at ER and already taken back to a room. We chose to go to a quiet hospital across town because of their lack of ER wait (this fact will become important later). I was given a gown and told to undress from the waist up. Due to wetting myself, I decided to just wear the gown only. They took my blood pressure: 146/94! I was definitely in pain. The doctor came in and we discussed my pain and nausea. I was hooked up to an IV and given fluids, Zofran and Morphine and I peed in a cup. Since I am pregnant, I couldn’t have a CT scan which is the gold standard for diagnosing kidney stones. They did an ultrasound of my kidneys to see if they could find a stone (they didn’t) and did an ultrasound to check on baby (heart rate 157 and wiggling around). The doctor wasn’t surprised that the ultrasound didn’t show a stone as that is a poor diagnostic tool for kidney stones.  

Friday 8 am – We called my mom to come and be with me at the hospital as Chris had to drive back across town to pick up Zoey and drove back to take her to her pet oncologist appointment (she was diagnosed earlier this week…stayed tuned for a post). Due to the urgency of her diagnosis, I did not want to reschedule and had Chris take her without me. 

Friday 9 am – Urinalysis came back as positive for an infection. I was expecting this. Whenever I have gotten stones in the past I always have a kidney infection. I don’t get normal UTI symptoms so I don’t know I have one until it causes a stone. The ER Doctor placed a call to my OB to see what they wanted to do with me since this hospital doesn’t like to touch you if you are even a day pregnant.

Friday 10 am – the ER Doctor spoke with the on call OB at the office and they said they wanted to treat me with oral antibiotics unless I couldn’t keep them down, in which case I would have to be transferred to my OB’s hospital, admitted, and treated with IV antibiotics. The nurse gave me a second liter of fluids, IV Reglan, IV Morphine and an oral antibiotic. 

Friday 10:30 am – During this time I was calling back and forth with Chris to see how Zoey’s appointment was going…then BAM! Back to vomiting pure bile. The antibiotic pill didn’t come up, but just the fact I was still vomiting meant I would not be going home. 

Friday 11 am – Paperwork was started for me to be transferred to my OB’s hospital and we had to wait on a room placement. 

Friday 12 pm – We had a room assigned to us at the other hospital. The nurse called EMS for transport. We were originally given a choice between my mom taking me or going by ambulance. If I went by private car my IV would have to be removed and I was still on fluids and medicine. The doctor then took the choice away and said I would be going by ambulance. New adventure! Never been in an ambulance before.  

Friday 12:45 pm – EMS arrived. The pain was coming back but we decided to wait until I got to the other hospital to see what my OB wanted to do. Off I went in the ambulance. It was a strange experience but the EMTs were super nice. 

Friday 1:25 pm – Arrived in room at OB’s hospital. Room was really, really nice! I was greeted with the nurse’s aide who asked if I would like some food. She offered me a grilled cheese sandwich and chicken noodle soup. I took them but only ended up having a few bits due to the nausea. My mom arrived about 20 mins after I did so I wasn’t alone too long. 

Friday 2 – 4 pm – During this time I was distracted because the Morphine was wearing off and I was incredibly nauseated. The nurse came in and took my vitals and a receptionist came in to verify my information. Finally the on call OB came in to see how I was doing and go over what was going to happen. She ordered IV antibiotics for the infection, IV Phenergan for nausea, oral Reglan and oral Percocet. She called my husband’s urologist (Dr. Shep) whom we love to come over and do a consult. 

Friday 4:30 pm – Medications arrive! Thank the Lord! It had been 6 hours since my last dose of pain medicine and if you have ever experienced kidney stones you know how long of a time that is! The Phenergan made me sleepy so that distracted me while the pain meds kicked in. 

Friday 5 – 6 pm – Mom left at 5 and Chris didn’t arrive until 6 so I had an hour of down time. I did some channel surfing and tried to watch Jupiter Ascending. On pain meds it didn’t keep my attention. I will have to try it when not inebriated. 

Friday 6 pm – Chris arrived with some things I requested from home: my lamb baby stuffed animal (yes I am 5) and my Minions blanket as well as my bite guard, phone charger and fresh pants and undies (I wet myself remember? I will never forget). Shortly after he got to the hospital, Dr. Shep came in for our consult. He was pleased I was doing better than that morning. He explained how limited we were with what we could do to diagnose the stone. He said that in cases like mine they just like to sit on us and wait and see. He mentioned possibly having to go in surgically to remove the stone, but for now I would just be observed and I would have to pee in a “hat” and the nurse would strain my pee (yay…)

Friday 7 – 9 pm – Chris watched the UK basketball game on his phone while I watched Jurassic World. I was occasionally drifting off to sleep. At 8:30 the nurse brought in my medications. She gave me IV Phenergan, oral Reglan, oral Percocet, prenatal vitamin, folic acid and a Zoloft (since I left mine at home). Chris left to go home and take care of Zoey and I drifted off to sleep. 

I won’t bore you with the times I was woken up in the middle of the night. Between the nurse coming in to take vitals and give me more antibiotics at midnight, to her coming in every hour or so to strain my pee, to the many bathroom trips because I had 3 liters of fluid in me, to the IV pump going off because I needed IV Fluid Bag #4…I did not sleep well. My vitals that were taken in the middle of the night were extremely low but the nurse didn’t seem concerned. Also I was not allowed anything to eat or drink after midnight in case I needed surgery.  

Saturday 4 am – I woke up with pain again. It had been about 8 hours since my last dose of medication. This time my right side was hurting me. Then it banded across to my left side. I thought it might be how I was laying but it wasn’t. I waited for the next time the nurse came in to strain my pee to ask for meds. She gave me two Percocets around 4:30 am and I fell back asleep. 

Saturday 8 am – I was woken up when the nurse came in to take vitals. I actually felt somewhat refreshed and had no nausea. The pain meds were starting to wear off but it was manageable. I called Chris and he said he would take care of Zoey and be on his way. I called my parents to update them on how I was doing. One of Dr. Shep’s collegues came in to see how I was doing. He was impressed with my spirits and said I looked good and he wa glad my nausea was gone. He said I could eat again as he didn’t see a need for surgical intervention. He also said I was okay to be discharged when the OB cleared me. He didn’t know if that would be today or tomorrow. 

Saturday 9 am – Chris arrived and the nurse brought me breakfast of pancakes, bacon and fruit. I was actually able to eat and keep it down! The nurse came in and gave me my prenatal vitamins, folic acid, oral Reglan, oral Percocet, IV Antibiotics #3 and IV Fluid Bag #5. (Side note: with the amount of fluid they are giving me and how much I am drinking I am surprised that my urine was still bright/dark yellow. I guess I was severely dehydrated). 

Saturday 10 am – 12 pm – I fell asleep a few times and just tried to relax. We watched a few episodes of Law and Order while we waited for the OB to come and check on me. 

Saturday 12 pm – The on call OB came to check on me and was pleased with how well I was feeling. She said I could be discharged and she would send me home with scripts for Reglan and Percocet! The three bags of antibiotics should take care of the infection without a need for oral antibiotics.

Since being discharged I still haven’t passed the kidney stone but the pain is much more manageable. I think it will pass on the next 12 hours or so. I will sleep good tonight! It has been a very long 36 hours! I am just happy that baby is okay and the stress and pain has not harmed Mumble in any way. And I am of course glad that I am feeling better!! Thank you to everyone who kept us in their prayers and called to check up on us!

FET#1 Update – CD3 Baseline

It has been 121 days since we started this transfer cycle. That is crazy! Well hopefully we won’t have to wait too much longer. I took my NuvaRing out on the 22nd and Aunt Flo arrived on the 27th. I emailed my nurse on the 28th to book my CD3 baseline ultrasound, only to find out my nurse has left the practice! Cue tears! She was my rock! She knew me and my case so well and was so caring and kind. I was quite upset when I found out she left but the new nurse seems to be very nice and is genuinely caring. Luckily my old nurse briefed my new nurse specifically on my case since it is a bit strange. I really appreciated that!

Anyways, we went in yesterday, CD3, for our baseline ultrasound. There were no cysts (thank God!) and everything looked great! I got a call from my doctor on my way home saying everything was great and we were all set to move forward with the letrozole. She wanted to confirm that since we didn’t do a trial of this protocol, that if everything looked good we could go ahead and transfer. Heck yes! Let’s get those snow babies back where they belong! So I started the letrozole last night. Here is the plan:

  • I am to take two 2.5mg pills a day for 5 days which will put us at CD7.
  • On CD8 I am to start 2mg Estrace (orally) until transfer.
  • We go back on the 7th (CD12) to check my lining and we PRAY that it is above 8mm and is trilaminar.
  • If everything looks good on CD12 they will instruct me when to take my HCG shot and they said it will be in the morning this time
  • After the HCG shot, I will start Crinone 1x day until 10 weeks gestation
  • Transfer should be on the 13th!

That’s all for now folks! I am just kind of laying low after the holidays, trying to get the house back in order and get back into the routine of things. I will post about any side effects from the letrozole. Especially since this is an unusual protocol for an FET!