It’s done!! We got there at 8:30am and we were taken back relatively quickly. Everything went smoothly!
While I was still in recovery, the doctor went and talked to Chris and showed him pics from the scope. There were definitely polyps there. Prior to surgery they came in with a cartoon drawing of my uterus and showed where they thought 1-2 polyps were. Well, they got in there and there were 8-10 all clustered together! So they removed them all and everything is cleaned out and ready for baby#2!
Definitely in some pain. Trying to distract myself and take it easy! Just wanted to drop in and share how it went! All is well and I am home cuddling with little man!
Posted in Procedures and Results, Testing, Testing and Procedures, Thoughts
Tagged anxiety, azoospermia, baby, cramping, Dr. Bohler, embryo, embryos, fet, fet success, frozen embryo transfer, hysteroscopy, ICSI, infertility, ivf, ivf success, ivf with icsi, lining, male factor, male factor infertility, PCOS, polpectomy, polycystic ovarian syndrome, saline infusion sonogram, sis, snowbabies, ttc, ultrasound, uterine lining, uterus, varicocele
I know I have been quiet for the past, oh, I don’t know…year or so! That’s what happens when you finally get your bouncing little miracle! They take all your time!! So worth it, but man, oh, man some days I don’t even get my morning cup of coffee!
So what is this post about? Baby#2! Well, our steps towards getting Baby#2 on board!
Back in February we did another egg retrieval cycle when Caleb was only 5 months old and we were in the middle of renovating our main floor ourselves. Smart. I know. Anyways, we ended up with 2 snowbabies! We have been patiently waiting until Caleb turned a year old before going back to our RE and discussing transfer.
A few days after Caleb’s birthday we headed to our RE and brought Caleb. He was wearing his The Little Embryo That Could tee and everyone loved it. The receptionist took a picture and sent an email out to the whole staff! We decided to do the same protocol as before, the Letrozole prep for FET. (If you haven’t heard of this, please research it. I found it to be so much better on my body and everyone I have spoken with that has done this approach has had a successful pregnancy!)
I did need to have another Saline Infused Sonogram done to check out my uterus. Luckily this time was a lot less painful than last time! Since our RE is at a teaching hospital, there was the nurse, our RE, a Fellow and a medical student present for the procedure. At one point, they all got quiet and they heads were tilted to the side. They saw something in there that they aren’t sure what it is. Could be scar tissue from my C section, could be a polyp, could just be “junk” as they so eloquently put it.
That brings us to today! This morning I am going to have a hysteroscopy and polpectomy. They are going to put me under full anesthesia, go in with a scope and remove what isn’t supposed to be in there. Basically make a nice, fresh home for Baby#2.
With the amount of surgeries I have had in my life, being put to sleep is routine to me. Only this time it’s different. This time I have a son. This time I have a tiny person who will spend his life without his mama if for whatever reason I don’t wake up. I know this is my anxiety getting the best of me and everything with go smoothly and in no time I will be home, curled on the couch with a heating pad and a cup of tea, watching The Real Housewives with my little mama’s boy in my arms.
Oh! Head over to the Beat Infertility podcast! That link is to our story which is being featured on the podcast TODAY Oct 23rd!!
I will leave you with some super cute pics of our little man!
Posted in Motherhood, Procedures and Results, Thoughts
Tagged azoospermia, baby, baby#2, Dr. Bohler, egg retrieval, embryo, embryo transfer, embryos, fet, fet success, frozen embryo transfer, hysteroscopy, ICSI, infertility, ivf, ivf success, letrozole, male factor, male factor infertility, PCOS, polpectomy, polycystic ovarian syndrome, positivity, saline infusion sonogram, sis, snowbabies, ultrasound, uterus
In 10 days, my beautiful miracle baby will turn 1 year old! I cannot believe how fast time has flown! He has turned into a kind-hearted sweet little boy whose favorite word is Mama. There is so much I want to write about him as his birthday approaches but that is not what this post is for.
About three weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to take a leap of faith and start a business that has a good positive message and will hopefully allow me to stay at home with Caleb and his (hopefully) future siblings. So I did a thing…
I created an Etsy shop called Inspired by Bug. Bug is is our nickname for Caleb. I wanted to create clothing and merchandise with a positive message that would support and encourage others, specifically those within the Infertility community. Currently our shop is supporting NICU Awareness Month and donating 20% of our proceeds from our IVF/Infertility section to help support the doctor’s and nurses that care for these tiny miracles.
I am adding new listings everyday and have many things planned for the Infertility Line. One of them being Baby Dust. I purchased a Baby Dust ornament the Christmas before we transferred Caleb and I prayed that that would be the last ornament we put on our Christmas tree without a child. God answered my prayer. I want to provide to others that same hope and encouragement that that small ornament brought to me.
Currently most of the items are seasonal, inspirational or NICU related however I have two beautiful designs in the shop specific to IVF and Infertility:
The support I have received from the blogging community is beyond words. I looked at my stats prior to starting this post and my blog has been visited over 100,000 times! That is insane! I am beyond thrilled that our story is reaching so many people and that we can provide a ray of hope (and a little humor) along this tiresome an often lonely journey.
Please take a moment to check out our little shop. Follow us on Instagram @inspiredbybug and join our Facebook group Inspired By Bug VIP to check out deals and giveaways!
I will not leave you hanging for so long this time! I will be back shortly to talk ALL things Caleb as well as our plans for a sibling!
Also, our story will be featured on the Beat Infertility podcast on Oct 23rd. The podcast is available on iTunes (and I assume on Android related apps…I don’t know…what can I say? I’m a Mac!)
This is my friend, who has also struggled with Infertility, holding our soon-to-be one year old Caleb! Her shirt says “She Believed She Could and So She Did” and his shirt says “The Little Embryo That Could”
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged azoospermia, baby, embryo, embryos, encourage, fet success, frozen embryo transfer, hope, ICSI, infertility, ivf, ivf success, ivf with icsi, male factor, male factor infertility, motivate, Nevertheless She Persistes, PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, positivity, She Believed, She Believed She Could and So She Did, small shop, strength, support, The Little Embryo That Could, varicocele
It’s been a while since I have updated! I want to get back into writing more but my little man has been keeping me busy and on my toes. It seems he learns something new every day. It is so much fun to see him discover the world. The other day he saw rain for the first time and just stared at the rain on the window from his car seat as we drove home. Then the following day he felt rain on his face for the first time. The look of confusion and amazement on his face was so sweet. He loves watching the ceiling fan and the way the light plays on the walls. He loves staring at the fire in the fire place and any shadows.
He is a genuinely happy baby. We are so thankful and blessed! Every day he smiles and tries to laugh. At the moment his laughs kind of sound like cries and whines so if you aren’t looking at his face you can’t tell if he is happy or mad. He loves watching baby animal videos on YouTube. He smiles and giggles at them. He has also taken to watching the TV. At first we thought he was just staring in that general direction, but it has become quite obvious that he is actually watching the TV. He has a bouncer that has some toys hanging from it. If we put his hand in the loops on them then he will hang onto it and pull on the toys. He is also starting to discover his hands. He hasn’t been staring at them in wonder yet but he does clasp them together and intertwine his fingers. He makes repetitive motions with his wrists and he loves sucking on his hands. For the past few weeks if I have him on his tummy on my chest while I am reclined in a chair he will roll over and gravity will help him land in my arms. We have been trying to get him to roll over during tummy time but he hates it and just gets frustrated. Last night as soon as Chris put him on his tummy he rolled over for the first time! Of course I missed it and looked up just as he was on his back! We tried to get him to do it again but he wouldn’t. He just got frustrated and whined. He has been vocalizing more and experimenting with different sounds. Sometimes it sounds like he is trying to mimic the sounds that we make.
His favorite songs are Wheels on the Bus, O Come All Ye Faithful and My Favorite Things. He loves Peek a Boo and baths and being on the changing table (he just laughs and laughs). At the moment the only thing he hates is Tummy Time. He has slept through the night on two separate occasions. We give him his bath around 7pm and then he cuddles with me and I give him his last bottle around 8:30pm. We put him down in his rock n play in our room around 9pm. He has two different sleeping patterns. The first is he will sleep from 9pm – 3am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am which is when we wake up to take him to my parent’s house. The second pattern is he will sleep from 9pm – 12am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am. Either way he is only waking once in the night to feed. At not even three months old I will take that for a win!
Yesterday we put him in his pumpkin suit for what will probably be the last time as he is getting too big for it. I wanted to capture a picture of him wearing it and compare it to when we put him in it when he was two weeks old. The difference is huge! He is getting so big! He has a long torso like his momma so some of his 3 month clothes are getting a bit tight. He has graduated to some 3-6 months and 6 month clothes! He is also starting to outgrow his size 1 diapers! Looking at the comparison of him nine weeks ago, he looks so tiny!
Speaking of size, he is in the 25th percentile for height and weight. At his 2 month appointment (9 weeks 5 days) he weighed 11lbs 14oz and was 22.75” long. He went from the 44th percentile at 3 weeks to 25th percentile at 9 weeks. I was concerned, but the doctor doesn’t seem to be. Since we have been dealing with reflux, he has had a few days where he hasn’t eaten much and that can cause the decrease in percentiles. He was not a fan of his 2 months shots. He had several vaccines that were combined into one oral vaccine and three shots. He took the oral vaccine like a champ. The first shot he just kind of looked at us in shock, then second shot he started to scream, then the nurse quickly did the third and then ran out of the room. It took us a few minutes to calm him down. I think it was much worse on me than it was on him. He was lethargic and lost his appetite for a few days afterwards and it has taken us almost two weeks to get him back up to where he was feeding wise. He is now taking about 26oz a day in 5oz bottles every 3-4 hours. We upped his Zantac to 1.4ml twice a day and he seems to feel better. He isn’t arching his back, shaking his head and thrashing as much anymore.
The week of Thanksgiving I went back to work and because of the reflux issues the week prior my milk supply tanked. I was never able to get more than 10-12oz a day and then the reflux issues, stress and going back to work caused my supply to dwindle each day. It got to be too much for me to hook myself to a pump for half an hour to only get 1oz. I was at my wits end. It was causing me anxiety and stress and taking me away from spending time with my son. I made the decision to just stop. Since we were only pumping and not nursing it was a lot easier to just quit. My milk supply was so low that I was able to stop cold turkey. We returned the hospital grade Medela Symphony we had rented and that was the end of that. I felt a lot of guilt with quitting but I also felt immense relief. It was one less thing I had to stress about and it was one thing that I could control. Having control over that and choosing to quit made me feel like I had some control back in my chaotic little life. I needed that.
I have found it harder and harder to be away from my little guy. I thought that each day and each week it would get a bit easier but it’s not. My mother watches him during the week which is more of a blessing than she realizes. It is so comforting to know that he is well taken care of and is being given the attention that he needs. Plus she sends me pictures and videos throughout the day which helps me and comforts me!
Last Saturday we took him to meet Santa! I was so glad that he didn’t cry or scream. Honestly he had no idea what was going on. He is very good about letting strangers hold him. I attribute that to letting him be around people and the public since he was 3 days old. Everyone loved his little reindeer suit and he got a lot of compliments!
We took some pictures on Thanksgiving with both sides of our family! It was so wonderful to get everyone together and Caleb was finally able to meet his Uncle Rob! On Black Friday we went to a popular local farm and cut down our Christmas tree! This was a tradition we started two years ago when we bought our house. It was so special to be able to take Caleb to cut down his first Christmas tree!
I think that’s all the updates for now! I promise I will try and update more often! We wish everyone a happy, safe and blessed holiday season!
Posted in Motherhood, Thoughts
Tagged azoospermia, azoospermia success, eleven weeks old, First Christmas, holidays, ivf success, miracle baby, PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, Thanksgiving, two month shots, varicocele, varicocelectomy
So I made it through 5 days of letrozole (Femara) and overall I didn’t have too many side effects…as compared to the other fertility meds I have taken. The first two days I had a lot of energy and was very productive. At points I felt euphoric. Then I started to become dizzy almost consistently. My motion sickness was heightened as every time I got in a car I was incredibly sick to my stomach.
The last two side effects are consistent with how I felt on Gonal-F which is FSH (Follice Stimulating Hormone) so that makes sense. For those who don’t know, letrozole makes my brain think I am not producing enough estrogen so it sends more and more FSH to fix it. So basically my body is producing the hormone instead of pumping me with synthetic hormones. I like the fact that this is a more natural way of doing this, but I am scared that my body won’t do its job.
Today, CD8, I started taking 2mg Estrace (estrogen). Let me tell you how not excited I am to be back on estrogen. Luckily this time it’s on 2 pills a day orally instead of 5 pills twice a day vaginally, but still…estrogen makes me crazy. And my body absorbs it into my blood pretty proficiently. Last time my blood level E2 was well over 3000…which once I hit the 2500 mark I lose my mind. Not. Kidding. I cried hysterically for 2 hours because I was convinced my husband was mad at me because I wasn’t wearing pants. Spoiler Alert: He wasn’t mad and didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing pants. So hopefully this time my body will cooperate and since I am on a lower dose I won’t board the train to crazy town.
It is hard to believe that this Thursday, CD12, we will know if my body reacted the way we needed it to and if we will indeed be able to transfer our snow babies next week. This week is going to feel so long. But we have waited for months and months, what is another 4 days, right?
Posted in FET#1
Tagged azoospermia, dizzy, embryo transfer, estrace, estrogen, euphoric, femara, fet, frozen embryo transfer, ivf, letrozole, lining, nausea, PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, varicocele, varicocelectomy
It has been 121 days since we started this transfer cycle. That is crazy! Well hopefully we won’t have to wait too much longer. I took my NuvaRing out on the 22nd and Aunt Flo arrived on the 27th. I emailed my nurse on the 28th to book my CD3 baseline ultrasound, only to find out my nurse has left the practice! Cue tears! She was my rock! She knew me and my case so well and was so caring and kind. I was quite upset when I found out she left but the new nurse seems to be very nice and is genuinely caring. Luckily my old nurse briefed my new nurse specifically on my case since it is a bit strange. I really appreciated that!
Anyways, we went in yesterday, CD3, for our baseline ultrasound. There were no cysts (thank God!) and everything looked great! I got a call from my doctor on my way home saying everything was great and we were all set to move forward with the letrozole. She wanted to confirm that since we didn’t do a trial of this protocol, that if everything looked good we could go ahead and transfer. Heck yes! Let’s get those snow babies back where they belong! So I started the letrozole last night. Here is the plan:
- I am to take two 2.5mg pills a day for 5 days which will put us at CD7.
- On CD8 I am to start 2mg Estrace (orally) until transfer.
- We go back on the 7th (CD12) to check my lining and we PRAY that it is above 8mm and is trilaminar.
- If everything looks good on CD12 they will instruct me when to take my HCG shot and they said it will be in the morning this time
- After the HCG shot, I will start Crinone 1x day until 10 weeks gestation
- Transfer should be on the 13th!
That’s all for now folks! I am just kind of laying low after the holidays, trying to get the house back in order and get back into the routine of things. I will post about any side effects from the letrozole. Especially since this is an unusual protocol for an FET!
Posted in FET#1, Thoughts
Tagged azoospermia, baseline, crinone, embryo transfer, estrace, fet, frozen embryo transfer, HCG Trigger, ICSI, ivf, ivf with icsi, letrozole, male factor infertility, PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, snowbabies, ultrasound, varicocele, varicocelectomy