FET#1 Update – Beta#2 Results

We had our second beta yesterday and the results were 416!!! My beta double from 203 to 416 just like it was supposed to!! We are so happy! Our little miracle baby is growing!!

  
I will have a third beta next Wednesday 2/3 to make sure everything is still rising and then they will schedule my first ultrasound. It should be sometime the week of 2/15. It might even fall on my birthday 2/17!!! I will update more when I have a bit more energy! It’s so surreal that today we are 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant!!

FET#1 Update – Beta#1 Results

Going to make this short and sweet because I am exhausted!! Our blood results came back. Our beta is 203!!!

WE ARE OFFICIALLY PREGNANT!!

  
We have a second blood test on Wednesday and then our ultrasound will be scheduled in a few weeks.

I will do a post soon about my 2WW and what I did, how it went, any symptom spotting I did. But for now I am so freaking tired!! It’s time for the second nap of the day for me!

FET#1 Update – Transfer Day

Transfer Day was Friday January 15th. I am not sure when I will be posting this as I am so exhausted I am sleeping every few hours. 

Morning of transfer I woke up refreshed and positive. I have been so nervous about transfer and we have been waiting so long for this day…132 days since we started our FET, but who’s counting?! Luckily, Chris let me sleep in so I wouldn’t be pacing around the house waiting to go. I woke up about an hour before we had to leave and I decided to curl my hair. Even though I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup I wanted to look pretty when we were reunited with our babies. For those that don’t know, on transfer day you cannot have any artificals smells on you…no deodorant, can’t brush your teeth, wash your hair, put on lotions, etc. Smells can kill embryos which is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want. So if we have to roll up in there au naturale then so be it.

 

Baby Dust manicure for good luck!!

 
I took my Valium and 600mg ibuprofen an hour before transfer as instructed. The ibuprofen is for comfort and the Valium is to relax the uterus so it doesn’t contract during the procedure and expel the babies. We don’t want that. I also started drinking my 40 ounces of water. When we arrived we were taken back and they did an ultrasound to see how big my bladder was…it wasn’t big at all. So I had some drinking to do! I drank another 80 ounces over the course of an hour. The nurse had me drink warm water and dance around the room…I was doing jumping jacks and the running man…anything I could to get my bladder full!!

 

Walking into the office for transfer

 
Around 11 o’clock, a full hour after transfer, they scanned my bladder and I was good to go. I felt like I was going to pee everywhere! The embryologist came in and told us that both babies survived the thaw and had become expanded blastocysts!! Which is great news as that means they are about to start hatching!! Unfortunately we didn’t get a picture of our little ones as he was all set to go with them and didn’t want to jeopardize them by getting them back out to take a picture. So now the “fun” begins!

If you have had a transfer you know what I am talking about, if you haven’t, there is not real way to describe the discomfort of the process. First, your bladder has to be very full so it straightens out your uterus and also, ultrasounds see better through liquid so it provides better visualization. Then they place you in super stirrups and strap your legs in them. Then they take a transabdominal ultrasound and push down on your bladder until you are certain you are going to pee on the doctors face. Once you are sufficiently uncomfortable, in goes the speculum…the extra LARGE speculum…that is now pushing on your bladder from the other direction. Sounds great right? Next comes the catheter. They thread that through the cervix (BIG pinch) and visualize it on the ultrasound to get into the right place. My uterus, as always, wasn’t being very cooperative so it took them a while to find the perfect spot for the babies. Once it is found, a second catheter that has the babies is thread through the one already in place and there is a flash of light on the ultrasound screen and voila there are your babies!!! 

 

The big black area is my bladder and the little white dot by my thumb are the babies

 
I was allowed to pee immediately after, thank God! And then the nurse gave us discharge instructions and a good luck hug! Then it was off to acupuncture for a special “holding” session to get my uterus to grasp into those babies. Honestly I don’t remember much of it because it’s so relaxing, and I was still on Valium. So I had a nice nap. He did use different points he hadn’t before including one on the top of my head. 

When we got home, the bedrest began. I am on strict bedrest for 3 days. Lots of clinics don’t do bedrest. Some do minimal. Those that I know of that have done strict bedrest have gotten pregnant so that is what I am doing. Only getting up to use the restroom or move from the couch to the bed. Chris has been taking great care of me. My dad came over for a while yesterday to watch me while Chris had a doctor’s appointment. My mom has been making us homemade dinners and bringing them over so I don’t have to worry about food and can continue to eat healthy. 

  
I have had zero bleeding or spotting. After transfer last time I had quite a bit of bleeding the first day. I had one small spot of tan last night but it might be from the Crinone. I also felt a few pinching sensations yesterday evening and a few cramps. I have felt nothing today except fatigue. I am listening to my body and sleeping when it tells me to. Our first beta is scheduled for the 25th so only 9 days away!!

Oliver protecting Momma and her babies

FET#1 Update – Trigger Shot, Crinone and Hormonal Freakout

I have been incredibly fortunate to be able to work from home during each cycle   The hormones really, really take a toll on my emotions. For someone who has been dealing with severe anxiety for years, these added hormones can have a debilitating effect on me.

Friday was trigger shot day and I had to wait until 7PM to administer it. I spent all day worrying about it because of the needle phobe that I am. It ended up going very well. I used lidocaine and ice and hardly felt it except for a by while he was injecting the meds. We triggered with 10,000 units of Novarel this time. After about an hour I was sick to my stomach and tired so I went ahead and went to bed. I tossed and turned for the next two nights and spent the weekend feeling flu-ish. Just tired, lethargic, hurt to move. I remember feeling poorly the last time I had the full dose of HCG. I guess that is just how I respond. 

  
One thing I was worried about is how I would feel when I ovulated. I have not ovulated on my own during a medicated cycle. Both times resulted in egg retrievals. I don’t feel myself ovulate normally (if I do) so I didn’t know what to expect with 4 follicles growing and ready to pop. Well, I found out about 1AM Sunday morning when I woke up with sharp pains in my ovaries. Rarely does anything wake me from a deep slumber, but this did. Luckily it only lasted for a minute or so. Then took another hour to get back to sleep. 

I felt a little stronger yesterday and ran some errands and did some chores. Last night was the first night of Crinone (progesterone gel vaginal suppository). I was told to take it at bedtime so I would be laying down for an extended period of time and it would absorb better. It wasn’t much different from Monistat vaginal suppositories, with the applicator and the gel. It did feel a little strange and as I was laying there afterwards I did feel an increase in cramps (I have been cramping a bit on and off for days). Since I hadn’t gotten much sleep the past few nights, I took two benedryl to help me sleep. I know progesterone can help sleep too so I am not sure which it was, but I sleep like a baby last night! I physically feel better today than I have in about a week. 

  
I received a call from the doctor’s office today and it was one of Dr. Bohler’s fellows. We normally work with Dr. Gentry, but have seen Dr. Dondrik the past few scans. Both are very nice and approachable. She was calling to confirm our transfer for Friday and to ask how many embryos we wanted thawed. I told her we would like to transfer both. She said she would let Dr. Christensen (the embryologist) know. She also mentioned what we all already know…that there is a chance the snowbabies won’t survive the thaw or they won’t survive the thaw well.

This is something I am aware of, but as we approach transfer day, the worries that I placed in the little box in the back of my mind have come out to play. What if our snowbabies don’t survive the thaw? The embryologist said 80% survive. But that means 1 in 5 do not. What if we spent the last six months preparing and waiting to be reunited only to find out hours before the transfer that they didn’t make it? I am trying to push these fears away and focus on the positive. I really do feel like this is our time. However, it is hard to keep the crazy and the anxiety at bay when I have so many hormones coursing through my veins. I had a small panic attack while Chris was on his way home from work and I was able to calm myself with some deep breathing techniques. 
The next few days are going to be hard. Waiting to be reunited with our snowbabies and making sure they survive the big freeze. I will just take it minute by minute and focus on the positive. It feels even more real now we have confirmed we want to thaw both. That also means we will have none left if this cycle doesn’t work. But that’s not going to happen because this is OUR time. Please keep the prayers and positive vibes being sent our way!!

  

FET#1 Update – CD12 Lining Check

By the grace of God (and two Benedryls) I actually got a good night’s sleep. I have been so anxious about today’s appointment. I’ll get right to it. 

The ultrasound tech took us back and started the scan. Of course my uterus was being its normal sassy self and not cooperating so she went ahead and scanned my ovaries first. I had 18 follicles on my right ovary, some were definitely growing but there was one big mama at almost 17mm. My left ovary had 23 follicles and not as many were growing. That explains why I have been have the twinges and pains in my ovaries, especially the right one. 

The tech then located my uterus and I was trying so hard to see my lining. I kept seeing glimpses of it and it looked trilaminar. She measured my lining at…3.72mm and my heart started to sink. But I kept seeing more and and more so I wasn’t too discouraged. She got a better view and my lining IS trilaminar and she measured it at 8.6mm. She deleted the first measurement and took an additional two so the average is 7.77mm!! We passed the milestone!!! The letrozole worked!!

  
So here are the next steps

• Trigger with Novarel tomorrow night at 7PM. Tomorrow will also be my last day of Estrace. 
• No meds on Saturday
• Sunday I will begin Crinone at night and will continue until 10 weeks gestation
• Our transfer is scheduled for 10AM on Friday January 15th!!! 

I am starting to get really excited! It’s actually going to happen! After 6 months of waiting!! Now hoping the next week flies by!! Thank you for all the kind thought and prayers! They worked! Keep em coming and let’s get these snowbabies to stick!!
  

FET#1 Update – CD11 and Tomorrow’s Appointment

It is amazing how quickly and slowly time goes at the same time when you are cycling. I feel like we have been waiting for tomorrow (CD12) for forever…well we kind of have! But at the same time it’s crazy to me that we are already almost halfway through our FET cycle! 

I feel like there is so much pressure surrounding tomorrow’s appointment. The appointment on CD12 of a letrozole prep FET cycle is blood work and ultrasound. This appointment is going to tell us several things: 

• It will show how my body is absorbing the estrogen. I have been on 2mg Estrace for 4 days.
• It will show if my body responded to the letrozole. 
• It will show how many follicles are growing and what their sizes are. 
• Most importantly, it will show if my lining is above the 7mm threshold and is trilaminar (meaning three strips)

Based on the labs and ultrasound results we will find out….

• When we administer the HCG trigger shot to induce ovulation. We know it will be in the morning we just don’t know what day.
• When we start Crinone (progesterone suppositories). This will be the day after the trigger shot and I will be on 1 suppository 1x daily before bed. (Side note: SO excited no PIO shots!!!)
• Most importantly, when our transfer will be!! This will be on the 6th day of taking Crinone. 

So as you can see, tomorrow’s appointment is kind of a big one where we will get a lot of information and find out next steps. To me though, I feel like it’s an even bigger deal. Since we started this journey nine months ago, I have been focusing on milestones. The little accomplishments and steps in our journey that have moved us one step closer to our babies. For our first IVF these were our milestones:

• Clearing all the blood tests, SIS and HSG and get the all clear for IVF. 
• Banking and freezing Chris’s sperm in case for some reason he stopped producing again. 
• Starting injections and obtaining eggs at our retrieval (2 eggs retrieved)
• Using Chris’s sperm to successfully fertilize my eggs
• Transferring our embryos back, even though they were only Day 2 embies. 

When our first IVF cycle failed, we moved on to more milestones:

• Obtaining more eggs than IVF#1 – the doctors and nurses cheered when they got the 3rd egg. I ended up with 14!
• Getting our embryos to make it to blastocysts and be of a good enough grade to freeze (2 snowbabies in the freezer, one 3BB and one 3BB-)

Then it came time for our first FET and our next milestone:

• Grow a thick enough lining (7mm) and a nice trilaminar home for our snowbabies to proceed to transfer.

Well, that is the milestone that we haven’t been able to cross yet. This is our roadblock and what is holding us back from being reunited with our snowbabies. This is the milestone that we have been waiting months to pass. Tomorrow’s appointment will hopefully remove this road block and we can be on to our next milestone: Snowbabies surviving the thaw. This time tomorrow…actually, this time in a little over 12 hours, we will know if my lining has become a nice home for our babies. 

I am excited, but I am also reserved. I haven’t been as excited during this cycle as I thought I would be because in the back of my mind I am so concerned about this appointment and passing this milestone. I don’t even know where we go from here if my lining is still thin. I don’t want to think about it. Right now I am in a “failure is not an option” mode. And I am positive and hopeful for good results tomorrow, but I will definitely breathe a little easier after the appointment knowing that we are set to transfer next week. 

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Every step of this journey is wonderful but it does take an emotional toll. I pray I will have good news for everyone tomorrow!! 

A brief note on side effects: I have definitely been more tired and dizzy. Every time I close my eyes the world spins. I have also been having cramps and twinges/pain in my ovaries. Sometimes very sharp pains. I feel bloated and my lower abdomen feels very “full”. I have had some mood swings but not nearly as bad as previously. I have been sleeping like a rock. 

  

FET#1 Update – CD8 Estrace Time

So I made it through 5 days of letrozole (Femara) and overall I didn’t have too many side effects…as compared to the other fertility meds I have taken. The first two days I had a lot of energy and was very productive. At points I felt euphoric. Then I started to become dizzy almost consistently. My motion sickness was heightened as every time I got in a car I was incredibly sick to my stomach.

 The last two side effects are consistent with how I felt on Gonal-F which is FSH (Follice Stimulating Hormone) so that makes sense. For those who don’t know, letrozole makes my brain think I am not producing enough estrogen so it sends more and more FSH to fix it. So basically my body is producing the hormone instead of pumping me with synthetic hormones. I like the fact that this is a more natural way of doing this, but I am scared that my body won’t do its job. 

Today, CD8, I started taking 2mg Estrace (estrogen). Let me tell you how not excited I am to be back on estrogen. Luckily this time it’s on 2 pills a day orally instead of 5 pills twice a day vaginally, but still…estrogen makes me crazy. And my body absorbs it into my blood pretty proficiently. Last time my blood level E2 was well over 3000…which once I hit the 2500 mark I lose my mind. Not. Kidding. I cried hysterically for 2 hours because I was convinced my husband was mad at me because I wasn’t wearing pants. Spoiler Alert: He wasn’t mad and didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing pants. So hopefully this time my body will cooperate and since I am on a lower dose I won’t board the train to crazy town. 

It is hard to believe that this Thursday, CD12, we will know if my body reacted the way we needed it to and if we will indeed be able to transfer our snow babies next week. This week is going to feel so long. But we have waited for months and months, what is another 4 days, right?