Hysteroscopy and Polpectomy Update

It’s done!! We got there at 8:30am and we were taken back relatively quickly. Everything went smoothly!

While I was still in recovery, the doctor went and talked to Chris and showed him pics from the scope. There were definitely polyps there. Prior to surgery they came in with a cartoon drawing of my uterus and showed where they thought 1-2 polyps were. Well, they got in there and there were 8-10 all clustered together! So they removed them all and everything is cleaned out and ready for baby#2!

Definitely in some pain. Trying to distract myself and take it easy! Just wanted to drop in and share how it went! All is well and I am home cuddling with little man! 

Maybe Baby 2.0??

I know I have been quiet for the past, oh, I don’t know…year or so! That’s what happens when you finally get your bouncing little miracle! They take all your time!! So worth it, but man, oh, man some days I don’t even get my morning cup of coffee!

So what is this post about? Baby#2! Well, our steps towards getting Baby#2 on board! 

Back in February we did another egg retrieval cycle when Caleb was only 5 months old and we were in the middle of renovating our main floor ourselves. Smart. I know. Anyways, we ended up with 2 snowbabies! We have been patiently waiting until Caleb turned a year old before going back to our RE and discussing transfer.

A few days after Caleb’s birthday we headed to our RE and brought Caleb. He was wearing his The Little Embryo That Could tee and everyone loved it. The receptionist took a picture and sent an email out to the whole staff! We decided to do the same protocol as before, the Letrozole prep for FET. (If you haven’t heard of this, please research it. I found it to be so much better on my body and everyone I have spoken with that has done this approach has had a successful pregnancy!)

I did need to have another Saline Infused Sonogram done to check out my uterus. Luckily this time was a lot less painful than last time! Since our RE is at a teaching hospital, there was the nurse, our RE, a Fellow and a medical student present for the procedure. At one point, they all got quiet and they heads were tilted to the side. They saw something in there that they aren’t sure what it is. Could be scar tissue from my C section, could be a polyp, could just be “junk” as they so eloquently put it. 

That brings us to today! This morning I am going to have a hysteroscopy and polpectomy. They are going to put me under full anesthesia, go in with a scope and remove what isn’t supposed to be in there. Basically make a nice, fresh home for Baby#2. 

With the amount of surgeries I have had in my life, being put to sleep is routine to me. Only this time it’s different. This time I have a son. This time I have a tiny person who will spend his life without his mama if for whatever reason I don’t wake up. I know this is my anxiety getting the best of me and everything with go smoothly and in no time I will be home, curled on the couch with a heating pad and a cup of tea, watching The Real Housewives with my little mama’s boy in my arms. 

Oh! Head over to the Beat Infertility podcast! That link is to our story which is being featured on the podcast TODAY Oct 23rd!! 

I will leave you with some super cute pics of our little man!

Inspired By Bug

In 10 days, my beautiful miracle baby will turn 1 year old! I cannot believe how fast time has flown! He has turned into a kind-hearted sweet little boy whose favorite word is Mama. There is so much I want to write about him as his birthday approaches but that is not what this post is for. 

About three weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to take a leap of faith and start a business that has a good positive message and will hopefully allow me to stay at home with Caleb and his (hopefully) future siblings. So I did a thing…

I created an Etsy shop called Inspired by Bug. Bug is is our nickname for Caleb. I wanted to create clothing and merchandise with a positive message that would support and encourage others, specifically those within the Infertility community. Currently our shop is supporting NICU Awareness Month and donating 20% of our proceeds from our IVF/Infertility section to help support the doctor’s and nurses that care for these tiny miracles.

I am adding new listings everyday and have many things planned for the Infertility Line. One of them being Baby Dust. I purchased a Baby Dust ornament the Christmas before we transferred Caleb and I prayed that that would be the last ornament we put on our Christmas tree without a child. God answered my prayer. I want to provide to others that same hope and encouragement that that small ornament brought to me. 

Currently most of the items are seasonal, inspirational or NICU related however I have two beautiful designs in the shop specific to IVF and Infertility:

The support I have received from the blogging community is beyond words. I looked at my stats prior to starting this post and my blog has been visited over 100,000 times! That is insane! I am beyond thrilled that our story is reaching so many people and that we can provide a ray of hope (and a little humor) along this tiresome an often lonely journey. 

Please take a moment to check out our little shop. Follow us on Instagram @inspiredbybug and join our Facebook group Inspired By Bug VIP to check out deals and giveaways! 

I will not leave you hanging for so long this time! I will be back shortly to talk ALL things Caleb as well as our plans for a sibling! 

Also, our story will be featured on the Beat Infertility podcast on Oct 23rd. The podcast is available on iTunes (and I assume on Android related apps…I don’t know…what can I say? I’m a Mac!)

This is my friend, who has also struggled with Infertility, holding our soon-to-be one year old Caleb! Her shirt says “She Believed She Could and So She Did” and his shirt says “The Little Embryo That Could”

FET#1 Update – CD3 Baseline

It has been 121 days since we started this transfer cycle. That is crazy! Well hopefully we won’t have to wait too much longer. I took my NuvaRing out on the 22nd and Aunt Flo arrived on the 27th. I emailed my nurse on the 28th to book my CD3 baseline ultrasound, only to find out my nurse has left the practice! Cue tears! She was my rock! She knew me and my case so well and was so caring and kind. I was quite upset when I found out she left but the new nurse seems to be very nice and is genuinely caring. Luckily my old nurse briefed my new nurse specifically on my case since it is a bit strange. I really appreciated that!

Anyways, we went in yesterday, CD3, for our baseline ultrasound. There were no cysts (thank God!) and everything looked great! I got a call from my doctor on my way home saying everything was great and we were all set to move forward with the letrozole. She wanted to confirm that since we didn’t do a trial of this protocol, that if everything looked good we could go ahead and transfer. Heck yes! Let’s get those snow babies back where they belong! So I started the letrozole last night. Here is the plan:

• I am to take two 2.5mg pills a day for 5 days which will put us at CD7.
• On CD8 I am to start 2mg Estrace (orally) until transfer.
• We go back on the 7th (CD12) to check my lining and we PRAY that it is above 8mm and is trilaminar.
• If everything looks good on CD12 they will instruct me when to take my HCG shot and they said it will be in the morning this time
• After the HCG shot, I will start Crinone 1x day until 10 weeks gestation
• Transfer should be on the 13th!

That’s all for now folks! I am just kind of laying low after the holidays, trying to get the house back in order and get back into the routine of things. I will post about any side effects from the letrozole. Especially since this is an unusual protocol for an FET!

 

 

 

 

FET#1 – Day 100

It has been 100 days since we started this FET cycle. That is CRAZY! That is almost 1/3 of the year that we have been trying to be reunited with our snowbabies. When we did IVF#2 and froze our two blastocysts, I expected to be apart from them for a month…two at the latest…not 100 days! And we are still at least a month out from transfer.

Time is still flying by…mostly. Sometimes it seems like each minute lasts an hour and then other times I blink and I have jumped ahead two days in the future. It helps that we have had a busy few weeks, even though the busyness hasn’t been due to good things. The Saturday after Thanksgiving we went to a local farm and cut down our Christmas tree. This is a tradition we are starting and it was our 2nd Annual trip. When we got home, we decorated the tree and a friend and I went to a craft store to buy items to make a wreath. While we were there I got a text from my mom telling me that one of my dad’s ferrets was going to the emergency animal hospital. He has two ferrets: Rocky and Buffy. They are his babies. He loves them and spoils them like crazy. Long story short…Buffy went into the animal hospital on Saturday and passed away on Tuesday. My dad is heartbroken. If you know anything about ferrets, they are very social and they bond to one another. When one ferret in a bonded pair dies, it is common for the other one to die within a month unless they bond with another ferret. So, I spent most of my day of Tuesday calling everywhere I could within a 200 mile radius to try and find another ferret for Rocky. Well, by a chance of fate, I was able to find Buffy’s littermate’s daughter! So we roadtripped to Columbus (a 4.5 hour drive each way) to go pick her up last Thursday. Rocky seems to be doing better and isn’t as depressed and mopey and Willow (the new ferret) is enjoying her new home.

Not our ferrets. Our ferrets will not stay still long enough to take a picture this cute. But this is what they look like.

After that fiasco was dealt with, I woke up the next morning with a fever and have been battling an upper respiratory virus ever since. Tis the season! In addition, we found mold on our basement ceiling the other night so we are having that looked at today and there was a brief moment of chaos when the cats attacked and knocked over the 100+lb Christmas tree at 5am! Oh! Did I mention the check engine light on the new SUV came on yesterday? And the deep freezer stopped working so we lost all our pre-prepared casseroles and crockpot meals. Luckily we were down to the last few in there so we didn’t lose much.

All of the craziness has made the time go by faster so that is good. I have been preoccupied with putting out fires that I haven’t had too much time to dwell on the wait. I replaced my NuvaRing on Monday so that made me feel another step closer to our transfer. 13 more days until I take it out for good and then wait for Aunt Flo. Then once she starts, it will only be 19 days until we are reunited with our snowbabies. We are getting so close! By the time we do our transfer, it will have been 5 months since we started this FET!

FET#1 Update – 62 Days and Counting…

Still no Aunt Flo…

It’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me. The one time I want her to come, I beg her to come, she is elusive. I keep having cramps, sometimes to the point I am convinced I have started, only to go check and alas…nothing. I talked to the nurse on Thursday. I am scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow (Tuesday) to see what’s going on. She assured me that I will have a period at some point. The issue is the holidays are coming up. The cut-off for a regular FET cycle is November 4th. Since we are doing a letrozole prep we have a bit more time, but not much. The lab closes down over the holidays for a deep clean. The last day they can do a transfer is December 9th. So basically, Aunt Flo better show up soon or we will have to wait until January to do the transfer…

The thought of waiting until January makes me very sad. I want to be reunited with our snowbabies so badly. I do understand about the lab closing over the holidays…but quite frankly…it sucks. I have thought about some perks to it though. Christmastime is my favorite time of year and it would be nice to have a bit of a break from all the infertility stuff over the holidays. Where I am not concerned with what cycle day it is, or symptom spotting. And, playing devil’s advocate here, say we did transfer December 9th…that means our beta would be right before Christmas. It could mean an awesome Christmas or a very, very sad Christmas. If the babies don’t stick, would that put a damper on all Christmases from here on out? Would I remember every Christmas as the time that we lost our babies…again? I don’t know if I want to deal with that. I am trying to remain positive and thinking it could be the best Christmas gift ever! But what if it isn’t? That tiny voice in the back of my mind keeps saying…what if?

Yes, I listened to Christmas songs on the way to work this morning. Yes, I am that person…

Another perk of waiting until January to transfer would be that I could drink over the holidays. That would be nice! I could focus on myself and maybe shedding a few more pounds before transfer. I am basically talking out loud. I am coming up with all the reasons that it would be good to wait until January because, if history is any indication, nothing goes the way I want it to so why would it change now? I go from feeling dejected about the whole situation to trying to look at the positive. It is so frustrating. We have been on this IVF journey for 6 months. I know many women who have been on it for much longer, but still, 6 months is a long time. Especially when every moment of every day is symptom spotting, injecting medications, cycle day counting, booking appointments, ultrasounds, needle sticks…you get the idea…

So anyway, think of us tomorrow at our ultrasound. Hopefully we won’t get bad news. I don’t really know what to expect. At this point I feel a little lost. A little down. A little frustrated. But, c’est la vie. I will pick myself up and keep trucking along.

FET#1 Update – 56 Days and Counting…

As I write this, I cannot believe it has almost been 2 months since we started our first FET. This is way longer than anticipated, but alas, expect the unexpected. I called the nurse yesterday morning since it had been 10 days since my last day of Provera and I should have started my period by now. She was a bit concerned but she did say that sometimes it takes a full two weeks so she wants to give it the full 14 days before alerting the doctors or changing any protocols. I am to call her back on Thursday morning if Aunt Flow still hasn’t shown up. I did ask what happens if she doesn’t show as I am worried about timing and the holidays. She said that was a valid concern, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. She did mention that if this cycle doesn’t work out it might not be a bad idea to take a break and start everything over in the new year…obviously I am not pleased with the option because that is another two months of waiting to be reunited with our snowbabies. Soooo…

I currently have cheese cloth filled with parsley up my hooha. Yes. You read that correctly. Parsley in my lady bits. After my conversation with the nurse I decided that it would drive me crazy to wait another two months, not to mention ruin my favorite time of the year with waiting…so I googled. There is a ton and I mean a TON of studies showing that parsley can help bring on Aunt Flo as long as you aren’t pregnant (check!) and are delayed (check!). It helps with menstruation that is delayed due to hormonal imbalances and emotional stress. Gonna go ahead and say it’s a safe bet that I have both.

I sent Chris to the grocery last night to get me some fresh, organic parsley and cheese cloth then I diligently made the tea as instructed per Dr. Google. Everything I read said the tea tastes really nasty but I didn’t find it that gross. It was completely doable especially with the hope of inducing Aunt Flo. I also wrapped up some parsley in cheese cloth and put it up my lady bits. The oils are supposed to soften the cervix and induce uterine contractions. I am supposed to leave the Parsley In Cheesecloth up there for 10-12 hours a time and then replace it. Some women report getting their periods within 12 hours of drinking the tea and doing the suppository. Some women it can take a day or 2. I am okay with whatever as long as she comes before Thursday morning. I did wake up in the middle of the night and it was time to change the cheesecloth. I had a bit of difficulty getting it out as I didn’t leave a tail or anything to pull. I noticed that there was some blood on the cheesecloth but I don’t know if that means it is working or if I nicked myself trying to get it out. Hoping for the former. I am also cramping worse than I was before. I am trying to meditate and relieve stress as well. I am praying, praying, praying that Aunt Flo starts. I have my whole family praying too. I feel like we have been through enough setbacks that we need a break. We need something, anything, to go our way or as planned.

In other news, I am still sick with this upper respiratory viral plague. I still sound like a frog in a blender, but at least I can now be understood better then before. I have been banned from the office until I am no longer contagious. The last thing anyone needs is me infecting someone who is immunocompromised. I am only able to sleep in the recliner because if I lay down I choke on my own mucus…which is lovely. As I write this, I am surrounded with cough syrups, medicine bottles, blankets, tea and tissues. Aside from being sleepy, it really hasn’t affected my body like the flu or another sickness would. It is all localized and honestly just gross and annoying.

I do feel accomplished from this past weekend though. Chris took me to get my nails done to make me feel better. I think they turned out great! We both also went and go our hair cut. Chris got his normal trim and I got about 6 inches cut off. I was in desperate need of a cut. Amidst all the IVF, I have kind of let myself go and sometimes it makes you feel so much better to be pampered and look and feel pretty. I also dyed my hair yesterday to cover the greys that have emerged thanks to the fertility medications. Then we also go our dog groomed and she looks so pretty. We are all a nice, polished, well-groomed family now! We also did our meal planning and freezer meals so we are all set for the next few weeks with good, healthy, nutritious and easy meals. I will post the recipes on here when I get the chance because they are all so amazing.

That is all for now. Please keep me in your prayers that Aunt Flo arrives and we can start our new protocol! I know each of you knows just how frustrating and saddening it is to be given setback after setback.

Day 19 – What I Collect

I have started collections of a few things over the years. When I was younger I collected all the commemorative US State quarters, as I think everyone did. That one faded away fairly quickly, I mean, there are only 50 quarters to collect and then you are done. I also collected Beanie Babies, as I think everyone did, and amassed a collection of over 200. They are all currently in my parents attic. I am still convinced they will be worth something someday…maybe…

Currently I collect shot glasses. I have some from places I have been to and others that people have given me as a gift when they have come back from vacation. We have quite a few of them but are always looking to expand the collection.

My favorite collection I have are my Hard Rock Cafe teddy bears. I have been collecting them since I was little and am still adding to them. I have London, Edinburgh, Atlanta and Orlando to name a few. Recently, Prague and Vienna were added to the collection. My ultimate goal is to have a Hard Rock Cafe teddy bear from every Hard Rock Cafe in the world. If you have a Hard Rock Cafe close and want to send me a bear, email me for my address 😉

One I desperately want!

Day 18 – Meaning Behind My Blog Name

This blog was started with the intention of documenting our IVF journey and dealing with diagnosis of azoospermia as well as PCOS. When I started this blog, I couldn’t find very many success stories surrounding IVF and azoospermia. I knew in my heart that this diagnosis wasn’t the end of the journey to parenthood for us, in fact, it was just the beginning. We decided that instead of keeping this private, we would share this with the world. We decided we didn’t want to remain anonymous in the blogosphere and we wanted to share our journey with family, friends and acquaintances. We wanted to share the good, the bad and the ugly on our journey to becoming parents, wherever that may lead and however we come to be parents.

Initially when starting this blog I thought the name Maybe Baby was cutesy and lighthearted. It conveys my playfulness, positivity and wittiness. The blog ended up being titled under Maybe Baby IVF Journey because that is where we started out. We didn’t do any Clomid cycles. We didn’t do any IUIs. We went straight from using an app that tracks my cycle to IVF. That is a HELL of a jump. We were thrown into the world of infertility treatments without a life vest and were about to embark on the hardest, yet most wonderful trek of our lives.

You might be a little confused as to why I used the word “wonderful” to describe our experience thus far. We haven’t had any success, why would I use the word “wonderful”? Because this experience has brought me closer to God, my family and my husband. It has allowed me to become friends with people all over the world and create lasting friendships with other TTC sisters. We have been able to see for ourselves the beginning of life. The first days of our children’s lives have been documented under a microscope. That is so cool! We have become more knowledgeable. We have become more accepting of people’s differences. We have strengthened our stances on many ethical and moral issues in today’s world. We have become humbled and learned to appreciate our blessings everyday. We have become more patient. We have grown up more and become more responsible adults. We have become closer in our marriage and solidified ourselves as a team that together can accomplish anything. We have become more open and willing to help others. There are so many positives to this experience that I cannot begin to list them all here.

This blog started out with the name Maybe Baby IVF Journey, but it will evolve with us. Will it end with IVF? I hope so. I hope this FET will bring us our children. If IVF ends up not being the answer for us, maybe adoption will be. Maybe both IVF and adoption. Who knows?! Either way, this is where we started. This is the path that was given to us by God and we will walk it hand in hand.

Day 16 – The Top of My Bucket List

My Bucket List is ever evolving so as of today, here it stands:

• Go to New Zealand with my mom and her show me where she used to live and work
• Write and publish a book
• Get married to the love of my life (2011)
• Be pregnant
• Become a mom
• Go to Scotland (2007)
• Go scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef
• Go to Russia
• See Marilyn Manson live in concert (2015)
• Achieve my ideal weight
• Visit Lizzie Borden’s house
• Run a marathon
• Go on a mission trip (2005, 2006 and June 2010)
• Go on a safari
• Volunteer at an animal shelter (2003-2005)
• See the Northern Lights
• Get a tattoo (currently 4 tattoos)
• Visit the Amazon Rainforest
• Work in hospice (2011)
• Meet Angelina Jolie
• Try vegetarianism
• Go on a meditation retreat/Visit an Ashram
• Rekindle a long lost friendship
• Visit the Eiffel Tower at night (2007)
• Visit New York City
• Be an inspiration to someone
• Visit Vatican City
• Visit the ancient ruins of Rome
• Visit Hunadora Castle in Romania
• Go to Australia
• Swim with dolphins  (2001)
• Swim with sharks  (2000)
• Get a PhD
• Create a source of passive income
• Live on a farm
• Build a Habitat for Humanity home (2015)
• Learn an instrument (1996)
• Be a part of a Flashmob
• Work for the FBI
• Set foot on North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, Antarctica and Africa
• Be an extra in a film
• Have my portrait painted
• Shower in a waterfall (2010)
• Spend New Year’s Eve in Times Square
• Have a real Christmas Tree (2014)
• Own a house (2013)
• Grow a garden and eat the produce (2014)
• Eat a meal from a world class chef
• See Stonehenge (2007)
• Own a chinchilla
• Be completely out of debt
• See the Christ the Redeemer statue
• Ride a zipline through the jungle (2012)
• Start a family Christmas tradition
• Swim in the Dead Sea
• Touch an Easter Island Moiai
• Visit all 50 states
• Meet Charles Manson
• Complete a 365 Day Photo Challenge
• Donate my hair to Locks of Love
• Explore Chernobyl
• Dance at Carnival in Rio De Janiero
• Explore the Catacombs of Paris
• Camp and sleep on top of a mountain
• Own a dog (2015)
• Dive the Famous Blue Hole of Belize
• Dive near Mariana’s Trench
• Become a hiker
• Cook 30 recipes from 30 countries in 30 days
• Cook a Family Thanksgiving (2014)
• Cook Christmas Dinner
• Create a secret family recipe
• Create a family heirloom
• Go diving on a ship wreck (2003)
• Be debt free in 10 years
• Achieve a 4.0 GPA (2001)
• Visit Alcatraz
• Be a foster parent
• Be a Godmother
• Carve me and my husband’s name into a tree
• Celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary
• Have a picnic in Central Park, New York City
• Send off a sky lantern
• Attend a 3 Day Music Festival (2015)
• Do a boudoir photoshoot
• Be face to face with a tiger
• Cave Dive
• Eat at an under the sea restaurant
• Go to an Indian wedding
• Hold a baby sloth
• Meet a penguin (2012)
• See the Olympic torch (1996)