Tag Archives: azoospermia success

Caleb Update – Eleven Weeks Old

It’s been a while since I have updated! I want to get back into writing more but my little man has been keeping me busy and on my toes. It seems he learns something new every day. It is so much fun to see him discover the world. The other day he saw rain for the first time and just stared at the rain on the window from his car seat as we drove home. Then the following day he felt rain on his face for the first time. The look of confusion and amazement on his face was so sweet. He loves watching the ceiling fan and the way the light plays on the walls. He loves staring at the fire in the fire place and any shadows.

He is a genuinely happy baby. We are so thankful and blessed! Every day he smiles and tries to laugh. At the moment his laughs kind of sound like cries and whines so if you aren’t looking at his face you can’t tell if he is happy or mad. He loves watching baby animal videos on YouTube. He smiles and giggles at them. He has also taken to watching the TV. At first we thought he was just staring in that general direction, but it has become quite obvious that he is actually watching the TV. He has a bouncer that has some toys hanging from it. If we put his hand in the loops on them then he will hang onto it and pull on the toys. He is also starting to discover his hands. He hasn’t been staring at them in wonder yet but he does clasp them together and intertwine his fingers. He makes repetitive motions with his wrists and he loves sucking on his hands. For the past few weeks if I have him on his tummy on my chest while I am reclined in a chair he will roll over and gravity will help him land in my arms. We have been trying to get him to roll over during tummy time but he hates it and just gets frustrated. Last night as soon as Chris put him on his tummy he rolled over for the first time! Of course I missed it and looked up just as he was on his back! We tried to get him to do it again but he wouldn’t. He just got frustrated and whined. He has been vocalizing more and experimenting with different sounds. Sometimes it sounds like he is trying to mimic the sounds that we make.


His favorite songs are Wheels on the Bus, O Come All Ye Faithful and My Favorite Things. He loves Peek a Boo and baths and being on the changing table (he just laughs and laughs). At the moment the only thing he hates is Tummy Time. He has slept through the night on two separate occasions. We give him his bath around 7pm and then he cuddles with me and I give him his last bottle around 8:30pm. We put him down in his rock n play in our room around 9pm. He has two different sleeping patterns. The first is he will sleep from 9pm – 3am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am which is when we wake up to take him to my parent’s house. The second pattern is he will sleep from 9pm – 12am then wake for a bottle then sleep again until around 6am. Either way he is only waking once in the night to feed. At not even three months old I will take that for a win!

Yesterday we put him in his pumpkin suit for what will probably be the last time as he is getting too big for it. I wanted to capture a picture of him wearing it and compare it to when we put him in it when he was two weeks old. The difference is huge! He is getting so big! He has a long torso like his momma so some of his 3 month clothes are getting a bit tight. He has graduated to some 3-6 months and 6 month clothes! He is also starting to outgrow his size 1 diapers! Looking at the comparison of him nine weeks ago, he looks so tiny!

Speaking of size, he is in the 25th percentile for height and weight. At his 2 month appointment (9 weeks 5 days) he weighed 11lbs 14oz and was 22.75” long. He went from the 44th percentile at 3 weeks to 25th percentile at 9 weeks. I was concerned, but the doctor doesn’t seem to be.  Since we have been dealing with reflux, he has had a few days where he hasn’t eaten much and that can cause the decrease in percentiles. He was not a fan of his 2 months shots. He had several vaccines that were combined into one oral vaccine and three shots. He took the oral vaccine like a champ. The first shot he just kind of looked at us in shock, then second shot he started to scream, then the nurse quickly did the third and then ran out of the room. It took us a few minutes to calm him down. I think it was much worse on me than it was on him. He was lethargic and lost his appetite for a few days afterwards and it has taken us almost two weeks to get him back up to where he was feeding wise. He is now taking about 26oz a day in 5oz bottles every 3-4 hours. We upped his Zantac to 1.4ml twice a day and he seems to feel better. He isn’t arching his back, shaking his head and thrashing as much anymore.

The week of Thanksgiving I went back to work and because of the reflux issues the week prior my milk supply tanked. I was never able to get more than 10-12oz a day and then the reflux issues, stress and going back to work caused my supply to dwindle each day. It got to be too much for me to hook myself to a pump for half an hour to only get 1oz. I was at my wits end. It was causing me anxiety and stress and taking me away from spending time with my son. I made the decision to just stop. Since we were only pumping and not nursing it was a lot easier to just quit. My milk supply was so low that I was able to stop cold turkey. We returned the hospital grade Medela Symphony we had rented and that was the end of that. I felt a lot of guilt with quitting but I also felt immense relief. It was one less thing I had to stress about and it was one thing that I could control. Having control over that and choosing to quit made me feel like I had some control back in my chaotic little life. I needed that.

I have found it harder and harder to be away from my little guy. I thought that each day and each week it would get a bit easier but it’s not. My mother watches him during the week which is more of a blessing than she realizes. It is so comforting to know that he is well taken care of and is being given the attention that he needs. Plus she sends me pictures and videos throughout the day which helps me and comforts me!


Last Saturday we took him to meet Santa! I was so glad that he didn’t cry or scream. Honestly he had no idea what was going on. He is very good about letting strangers hold him. I attribute that to letting him be around people and the public since he was 3 days old. Everyone loved his little reindeer suit and he got a lot of compliments!

We took some pictures on Thanksgiving with both sides of our family! It was so wonderful to get everyone together and Caleb was finally able to meet his Uncle Rob! On Black Friday we went to a popular local farm and cut down our Christmas tree! This was a tradition we started two years ago when we bought our house. It was so special to be able to take Caleb to cut down his first Christmas tree!

I think that’s all the updates for now! I promise I will try and update more often! We wish everyone a happy, safe and blessed holiday season!


Few Weeks of Pregnancy and Ultrasound #1

So I know I have been a bad blogger and I haven’t posted in a few weeks, but honestly, today is the first day that I have felt somewhat human enough to sit down and write! 

Since my last post we had our first ultrasound. We had it moved up from 2/17 (my birthday!) to 2/12 because of my anxiety. There is ONE little bean in there, snuggled up nice and warm, with a heart rate of 125. At the scan I was 6 weeks and 5 days. I have a video of the whole appointment and I will upload that to YouTube sometime in the near future. 

Aside from being so tired and sick, I have been going back and forth about posting how I have been feeling because quite honestly, I feel like shit! I feel bad about writing how I am feeling because I am complaining. I am human and before I was pregnant I would judge pregnant women who would go on and on about how awful they feel. I would think to myself, “You should be so glad you are so sick! I would give anything to be feeling like you do! When I am pregnant, I won’t complain because I know how blessed I am and I will cherish every second of morning sickness!” Yeah…about that…I am now one of those women.

So far this pregnancy has not been easy. My morning sickness started as night sickness and actually started at 3 weeks 5 days…before our first positive HPT. Each day it has gotten slowly worse and has also started earlier. It has now become all day, all consuming and I can’t keep anything down. In the past 3 weeks I have lost 10lbs simply because I can’t eat or keep anything down. I tried all the home remedies: ginger ale, ginger tea, peppermint sticks, Preggie Pops, bland diet. You name it, I tried it. Nothing worked. At around 5 weeks my doctor had me start on Vitamin B6 and Unisom which are the medications in Diclegis (just saves me some bucks). That worked slightly for a little bit but the Unisom made me a zombie. I spent 18 hours on my birthday in bed just because I was so tired I could hardly move. 

Due to my weight loss and inability to even keep water down, I am now on 4mg of Zofran every 8 hours. I know there is some controversy surrounding this medication, but both my doctor and I feel that the benefits outweigh the risks in my situation. It can cause more damage for me and the baby to become dehydrated and malnourished. I started the Zofran on Friday and it had been a lifesaver! I still have nausea but it is much more manageable and I haven’t thrown up once. I am able to eat small meals and have even noticed I have an appetite! Hopefully the morning sickness will subside when we hit the second trimester in a few weeks!

Aside from morning sickness, I have a whole host of other symptoms. My boobs are very sore, as are my nipples. They are even sometimes itchy or give me sharp electric zings which is a very weird sensation. I am very tired. I get winded walking from my office to my car in the parking lot. I have had more intense dreams. There has been cramping on and off and occasionally some extra added pain on my right side. I am assuming this is stretching. I have had very minimal spotting. When I have, I can always contribute it to the Crinone because it’s always the morning after I bumped my cervix while inserting it. I now have the nose of a bloodhound. I smell everything and most of the time that is not a good thing. I also have had a metallic taste in my mouth on and off, nowadays it is almost consistently present. 

All pregnancy related symptoms aside, we have absolute crazy weather where I live and in the span of two weeks we went from having a tornado watch and being 60 degrees to having a snow storm and schools were closed, then back up to 70 degrees over the weekend and we are supposed to get snow tomorrow night!! Needless to say my allergies and sinuses are going crazy. I have had a bad cough for a few days and actually lost my voice yesterday. Over the weekend I had the hint of a small fever and it got up to 99.9, so we have been watching it diligently. 

We are currently 8 weeks and 2 days with a due date of October 2nd. We go for our second ultrasound on Thursday 2/25. We may have one more ultrasound after that before graduating from our RE’s office but I am not sure. I get to stop the Crinone once we reach 10 weeks, which will be 3/6 and that can’t come soon enough! I can’t wait to be done with it! And last but not least, we have our first OB appointment scheduled on 3/15!