It has been 51 days since I first began taking estrogen in preparation for our frozen embryo transfer…it feels like an eternity and we still have not been reunited with our snowbabies. Since the first try of the cycle was cancelled due to my lining not being thick enough, I have been (not so) patiently waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive. I started on Provera on Oct. 6th and my last pill was last Wed. Oct. 14. I had a bit of spotting on Saturday and by Sunday everytime I wiped I had bright red spotting but nothing to merit even a panty liner. As of Monday morning, all spotting has disappeared. I am cramping, but not spotting. I emailed the nurse on Monday and she said it could take up to 10 days to start after taking the last pill. Well we are on Day 9 and she isn’t here yet!! So frustrating! I’m sure the stress of wanting her to come has made her go into hiding.
Speaking of stress, I talked to my primary care doctor on Tuesday and in addition to Zoloft, which I have been on for a year, he added 0.5mg of Lorazepam at night to help me sleep. I have been worried and stressed with all the waiting around and all the obstacles in our way. I wanted to be open with everyone about this since I am a positive person and several people have commented on my strength and my ability to handle this stress. I want everyone to know that I am not a saint. I have bad days and bad weeks too. I do not see any problem with asking for help when it is needed. We had two options do dealing with this anxiety. The first was to up my dosage of Zoloft which is a long term fix. The second was to add a low doze benzodiazepine intermittently until the situation gets better. I discussed the benefits and the risks for both options as well as the half life of the drugs and how long they take to metabolize out of my body. I chose to not increase the Zoloft and add the lorazepam because I didn’t want to increase the dpsage of Zoloft long term and it have more risks to the baby. The lorazepam can be stopped immediately after transfer and will have no ill effects on the baby. Plus it is fast acting and I need the relief now, not three weeks down the road when the Zoloft would kick in.
The most recent update on my life is that I am sick. First sickness of the season. It started with a sore throat on Tuesday, moved into sinus congestion yesterday and as of today I am miserable, coughing and have lost my voice. I have been drinking a lot of fluids and taking vitamin C. I couldn’t get in to see my doctor today so I went to the Urgent Care by work. I was diagnosed with a nasty viral upper respiratory infection. Yuck! Apparently this is going around and it lingers for weeks…EXACTLY what I need right now, right? In the office they gave me 2.5mg of dexamethasone orally. They squirted it down my throat and it tasted lovely (not). Now, I am to take Tylenol and Advil around the clock together, Children’s Dimetapp, and prescription cough medicines: Tessalon and Cheratussin AC. I am also considered contagious so I have to quarantine myself in my house for the next few days.
In other news, Marley (youngest cat) got bladder crystals and we had to give him antibiotics and special food for the past few weeks. We also had to monitor his bathroom habits and make sure he was peeing otherwise that could mean a blockage which can be fatal in male cats. I spent an entire Sunday with my “mommy ears” on listening to hear him cry or use the litterbox. Each time I thought he used the litterbox I felt his tushy to see if he peed. It took him until 9PM that night but I was never so happy to have cat pee on my hands! He is my baby and I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to him!
The highlight of my week was receiving a wonderful card from Katie from Praying to Be Mommy. In it she included heart-felt note, a prayer card with St. Gerard’s medal which has been blessed as well as a cloth that has been touched to a relic of Blessed Father Seelos. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such caring and Godly people. It has truly touched my heart to have people that I have never met praying for our little family.
So for now, that is all I have. We are still waiting. It feels like we are always waiting. For now, I am focusing on getting myself back in good health in preparation for our snowbabies.